Happy birthday dost!

So it's my best Pal's birthday today....I am sure he'd take a look at this page atleast 300 million times :P.......Happy Birthday dear Wizzy!

Crash landing

Sometimes...
I feel when god sent me to earth he must've wrongly packed me and i must've had a crash landing...with my head first and that must have fallen flat on the ground!
This crash landing seems to have made an invisible dent on my head and that must've lead to superior malfunctioning in my brain!

...over the years i've started feeling that my brain does not function in a normal manner...i find my own self being a stranger to me at times and sumtimes i am an unexpected example of myself. I have at times said and done things that i am myself unaware of ... Or to be precisely and be politically correct... Unsure of!

it is said that people learn and grow with experience...and get wiser by comprehending the situations around them! But with me... It never seems to work! I neither seem to learn nor correct...or get wiser for that matter! I may have learnt to be oblivious and may have learnt it unknowingly.....i say that because, for all that i've seen,done, spoken of or preached... I find myself doing exactly the same, over and over again!!

i dont hate myself for what i am...but for what i make people around me...and to see that i provoke fatal events scares even me!

lost again....

A fragile mind
seems to have lost its way again
no matter what it tries to find
all that's found is in vain
Perplexed and shaken
yet, it fights the pain
misunderstood and mistaken
but not yet insane
charred and burnt
remanants of a cremated heart remain....

Yo! I love the rains.................

It’s been raining over the past three days and it really feels good to see the weather get so pleasant (those who don’t like the rains…..Pardon me!).

The sky’s overcast, rain drizzling and a slight breeze caressing the fresh green leaves of the trees around…..birds flying helter skelter….and a soft aroma of drenched soil and wild grass filling the air….vehicles passing splashing water logged on the roads…hmmmmmmmmmm!.

Office saw most people arriving in late (yes! You guessed it….it’s the rains). The first thing at office was, a nice hot chai from anna’s tapree right across the street……what a start to the day!

It’s been a roller coaster ride today morning….it was raining all the way….some places witnessing water logging lead traffic snarls the others had scary skid-prominent-spots, Street signals gone berserk and the traffic cops paying no heed to either :)

I got partially drenched in rain…but I don’t mind since I really enjoy getting wet in the rain. My helmet keeps the rain drops from hurting my face and blurring vision while driving, so I enjoy the rain without worrying about getting into an accident. I took this extra precaution of wearing a sweater underneath my raincoat (it kinda gets chilly when it’s raining and you are driving even if at a minimal speed of 40kmph. (Though I think some people might consider even that high considering the rain…but that’s ok the Pune way!)

It’s been tad chilly since morning and I haven’t dared to turn the AC on….aaah.. I guess I need another chai!

Broken but not shattered

being home @ home!!!!

…..hehehehehe

I still cannot stop laughing…. I had this amazing time at home this Sunday. It was raining throughout the day (and yipppie!!! It seems the Rain Gods have shown some mercy and if it continues to rain for a few more days…..we’ll have the water reservoirs full and NO power cuts!!! )

Everyone was home this Sunday…dad, mom, sis, lil sis and of course me! Thanks to the rains no one made plans to go out and everyone was confined to home… with no power cut …we all had this hell of a time watching a Hindi flick (Some Shahid & Kareena starrer…Chup chup ke.)It was a well made comedy (at least I felt that….considering I am not a movie maniac).

Lil sis has turned out to be a well seasoned humor cracker (I wonder where she learnt it all from) every word she speaks is intentionally (and without warning) made to make you laugh till your guts spill out.

Sunday evening was even funnier….it was raining and we all (my sis, lil sis and me) planned to go eat gol-gappas (pani-puri) at a stall near our place….and wow! It was amazing to have gol gappas in the rain….with my lil sis cracking her tiny spill-out-laughter-nonsensical-quips…..Well…we all ended up gobbling some sumptuous gol gappas only to have a slightly upset tummy later in the evening….grrrr!

All in all had a good time…and to very specifically say….it really felt like being home at home!

Cute puppies

I'd been to Mc. Donald's today (i m not a fan of the joint) but sometimes i do binge on the veg burgers n fries....but that's not what made me smile...

While i was heading out after a quick meal...to the parking lot I saw these two lil pups playing with each other....undaunted by the miseries of the world that surrounds them....these two cuties were so lovable that I could'nt stop myself from going and playing with them....and my!my! It was so cute when the puppies came jumping the moment I pett them...."awww choo cute" was all could say!
I wish I could take'em home.....but then mommy dear would throw me out.! And that would make three of us homeless hehe!

Morons..........

This is one of those days when one feels rage. I feel it today to the core of my heart.

Today noon, I get this news of a few bomb blasts in Bangalore (although, its neither my home town, nor the place where I live, but I have stayed in Bangalore for a few months and it really changed my way of life!)
I hate those ill minded morons (read sadists ) who derive pleasure or feel the sense of power from terrorizing innocent people. Hatred dwells in their minds agreed…But why direct it to those who are not even remotely concerned with their cause!!!

Though the blasts were not majorly damaging, but sure terrorized people...for a while (beause we are Indians and we can stand up agains such things in no time!).

It sent in a shock wave amongst people (including me) who have some dear ones settled in Bangalore. The next instance saw people calling and jamming the phone line (and to top it up the damned Airtel network sucks!).
I just hope everything settles soon…and everyone reaches home safe….Tomorrow is another day and I hope the insane morons who plotted these blasts end up having diarrhea.

Rain clouds have mood swings too!!

It had been a dry spell for nearly a month now ( I mean strictly in terms of monsoon rains….hehe). And it kind of becomes pretty irritating the humid air, hot weather and NO RAINS!!!

Well at last…it rained ( for a while only! ) While it started with a great spitter-spatter, it looked as though it would rain the rest of the evening, but hell….it seems the rain isn’t interested in making a splash in town this year! (Considering the beginning of the season, it now seems to be a sick monsoon).

Well we hope that it rains….else all the beautiful picnic spots are going to go for a toss with withered wild flowers and otherwise oh so green vegetation.
I feel my mind has a direct co-relation with the behavior of the clouds in the sky... they too seem to have exactly similar mood swings like I do (no…please don’t blame mine to the biological aspects of the woman kind!)

Anyways… this small shower of rain has got some relief….hope it is here to stay (only for the season…I don’t want my fellow citizens cursing me later for having invited the floods either!!)

Time to take a look at the washed up road……

Inspired by mother nature

Inner self

I have been thinking...nothing in particular but all about myself... (yeah i am one of those who are 'me' centric)
Sometimes my own thoughts and actions make no sense at all even to myself and I often wonder 'huh! What the hell on the earth am I doing'.

No, I do not cry for having made mistakes...or regret or for that matter pity myself! I just know one thing for sure and believe it to the possible depth of it and that is 'all things u do have a reason...and sometimes you yourself dont know the reason!'
But then again, it's human to think...rethink ....of past and of future...of the things that have been or could have been,of how better you once were and where you can be....
Everyone is happy and sad at the same time...only thing that varies is the degree of it....

I have, off-late been trying to know my inner self...and all that i found was a perfect stranger within me...who is not me but a part of me....

Ultimately at the end of everyday what I am thinking is 'who am i?'

Inso-maniac!

...its past midnight and my insomniac tendencies seem to be stretching every passing day.
I just wound up my daily dose of teaching myself to calm my mind by means of painting something.....and then thought of reading something (atleast that would help me get sleepy!) but, like always my brain,mind and body seem to have taken their own seperate paths....
Surprisingly, I am not as fatigued either...but definitely restless...am feeling a tad cranky too....
Its weekend already and I have absolutely no clue what I would do....!
Ah! I would be at work in the morning...

Lone soul!

Attempt one. Here i go!

pea sized brain at work.....(of art)

I got this huge stack of photos (most of them cactus flowers) collected from the web (with due respect and thanks to the original owners of the photos)

I am going to attempt painting some of them (I still haven’t figured out or yet decided the method or means I am going to use). But I believe it is going to be good fun….especially since I am getting back the creative stint, Mom blessed me with (she is a very good artist herself)….though I am far from good compared to what my cousin ‘s art work is (he makes these absolutely stunning portraits, sketches , sculptures and not-so-easily-comprehensible pieces of art).

A photo of yellow-ochre and orange colored Japanese umbrellas which looks like slightly displaced concentric circles… is what that has caught my attention.
I think that would be my first attempt at trying…but there are at least 49 more shots of thorn clad beauties (the cactus flowers) and some landscapes and objects that I have collected and I am not sure which one will override my mood and senses when I pick up the drawing board and colors…..if not I think it would turn out something incomprehensible yet again!

It has been really long since I got in touch with the gifted skills of mine ( I call them gifted because since childhood, I have had this keen interest to play with colors and try to attempt creating something unique….so far have not been successful though)
Well I hope I stick to this one …it’s rare that I stick to what I decide to do…like my decision to quit smoke and get regular with my workouts…hehehe funny…I know I know…it aint that funny…but sometimes I just don’t care :P !

Lets see what my pea- sized-brain- in- a- barrel churns out today : )

Lemon Tree!!!

I was just sitting idle today doing nothing much (of course I believe I am a tad talented to finish work before time…hehe so much for the self –praise!) And I recollected this funny incident that my father tells everyone we meet ….

This dates back to, when I was a little girl.

I was (and even now am) very fond of “Nimbu Pani” (lemonade). In Punjabi (my mother tongue) we call it “shakanjmee”.

We then had a really small house and there was not much space to really have a big lawn or a kitchen garden. But my father has always had an interest in gardening.

One summer he got home a lemon sapling, while he was planting it, in whatever limited space we had, I went up to him and asked him inquisitively “what are you doing papa?”; My father knowing that I am fond of “Nimbu pani” and also knowing for a fact that I am far too short of patience as well, told me “this is a lemon sapling, and one day you will be able to make lots of Nimbu pani”. I was thrilled and was jumping all around the place talking about the lemon tree :).
The next day, when my father came back home from work, I walked up to him with something in my hands….and said “shakanjmee”.
My father couldn’t but stop laughing when I handed him...the lemon sapling pulled out from the roots!!!

Now I don’t really remember of having done this, but listening to my father narrate this to everyone…for a good hearty laugh …does leave me guessing….how foolish…but how so innocent!

Tulips !

hmm. I think i m getting better!
this is crayon pencils on black paper....

Sims 2

...its been a boring day today with really nothing much exciting...at work or outside.

Evening I called of my regular schedule of activities. (i just felt doing nothing at all) But that too is kinda not acceptable.So...in an attempt to try breaking the monotony I headed of to my best friends place.
He had introduced me to this EA game called Sims 2 (a beautifully compiled life simulation game) I have been playing this game for over staggered 3 weeks and i m really hooked on to it!
A lovely game...it atleast put me off my senseless thoughts for a while (i was glued to the computer for 2 hrs today.)
hmmmm...atleast I feel tad better,(if not too good) now.

(yawn) time to catch sum sleep! Gudnite.....

Yet another day!

Ummm...yet another day when I m feeling like being a worthless being! (no its not like being in a negative oh-so-poor-me!)
I sometimes just feel this, absolutely low! Down at the bottom of a dark unrecognizable pit. Entangled in my own futile (sometimes bizzare) thoughts.Trying to sort out my brain is a herculean task!
At times just one thought or should we say one damn thought is good to make you feel low (at times for practicaly no reason at all).
Considering the fact that one cannot be peppy n perky all the time, its obvious that there are some dull,dark and lifeless days. No matter what u try,what u do to cheer yourself up it just does not work!
Self analysis tells me the source...its your worries...no matter how big or small,they just start taking a toll! Sometimes knowingly and at other times unknowingly....!

Strange as it may seem...but we all know it! And still bother ourselves with worrying.

...i think i m sounding like the head-burried-in-sand pessimist. I hope tommorow is better and gets the life back in this wandering soul!

Head Butting!!!!

The day kicked off with a great note today morning and I am really glad :)
It was like having a silent victory over someone without even lifting an arm!! A battle of wits ;) (evil laughter) and implied power….(Tarzan call)

One doesn’t always have to do things the way they are expected to be done…. or stick to the dictum just because one has to…? Keep mum and not question the status quo? What's the fun in such a life (be it at work or outside work)

The ability to put your foot down; look straight in the eyes of your goal and barge ahead like there’s no tomorrow...is where the fun is! (although there are risks involved). It’s a thrill taking risks…(and the bigger the stake the higher the returns!).
It’s exhilarating to go the head-butting mode like a ram on the run (no… I won’t say the bull on the run because I am an Aries…the headstrong impulsive ram). It’s fun to just do it and then wait and watch….;)

Head butting might harm but what the hell!!! (at least you’ve shown what you have in you…the power, the wit, the courage and the confidence…!!!!) Remember Zidane Materazzi headbutt ??!!! Yeah, yeah I know you could be thinking how foolish..But we aren’t talking about “the way it has to be” anyways !!!

Destiny's Sandbox

Wonder what that is all about… ? well I did not know it either until sometime ago : ) I just coined the term sometime today noon.
If you are working in a technical environment you would know what “Sandbox” means [no I don’t intend to give a dictionary meaning out here …hehehe]

Well ...we are all destiny's Sandboxes....Destiny tries and tests things on us…puts us through things and situations that seem weird. Things seem to be imperfect...sometimes leading to results that we expect; and sometimes nowhere close to our expectations....and we are left clueless often asking….why me??!!!

But that’s the way of life to help us become better people…!

Aaaaaaaachoooo!!!

Aaaaaaaachoooo!!! Sniff sniff….eeeow : (
Here’s another gift from the rain God…I have a viral cold catching up (sniff). My nose is running really bad and my eyes are itchy (sniff) and I have actually lost the count of the number of times I have sneezed!
(sniff) (sniff)

Guess I will have some nice hot chicken soup with herbs and pepper when I get home....hmmmm that's when I get home!!! (sniff)

more?

It takes us one small moment to have completely different view of life, people and things around us. Strange how we are hypocrites to our own beliefs and philosophies of life.

What we love …we love it till we really feel that it is good to us and loves us back and we hate it the moment it goes awry. And we hate a thing till we really see it hurting us in one way or the other until the so called object or person of hatred shows us a sign of affection/purposefulness. Not that I am complaining, I have done it times a one too many…and perhaps will do it till the end of life…thus are the ways of life.

It’s human to be not satisfied and its human to ask for more and more always. You call it greed if you have to make it sound lewd and aspiration if you want to sound it like there’s nothing more than that to your life…
…. greed/aspiration for more than you can see with million eyes, a craving to have things that you can collect with a hundred hands, pleasures that can put all your senses to work all at once, money that all the bank accounts in the world are yours and there’s still more to put away, food till you have tasted every bit of it and there’s even more waiting, applaud and appreciation for every breath that you take and still more….a desire to take everything from everyone and still feel that you have nothing!!!

This greed or should we see an aspiration for more (more and better) takes us places, we see, we look, we touch, we feel, we share, we care, we move , we stop, we cry, we smile… for everything that we get and tend to fail to realize one thing..that what passes by once will never come back…the words said, the actions done….get embedded in your life like a part of some tattered pages in an old history book….and fail to realize that in our effort to look for more (more better) we miss out on what we have in front of us …this very moment.

another angel..breaking the walls.....

weird....??!!!hehehe....

dry crayon and water...

I know I know...not as much as flaunting about....but hell that's my creation made over a weekend!!!

an intriguing thought....

"Direction is more important than speed,

we are so busy looking at our speedometers that we forget the milestone!"

Hope...that's what life is right ?

A pic I took a few weeks ago.....

numbers numbers numbers

....................phew!!!!

numbers, numbers and more numbers;they baffle me and they make me go crazy... :P

and I hate them from the bottom of my heart.

I have never been comfortable working with numbers. As a student I have barely managed to get passing grades in mathematics and anything to do with numbers (except that I am surprisingly good with statistics!)

Thinking of the school times...I can still recollect the discomfort I had with math papers :) I was (and still am) a wreck with multiplication and division....eeew. I use to always feel that subjects like mathematics in school are only to harass kids ....hehe. [strange for a fact that my mother is an absolute human computer and can churn numbers to simple answers in no time!!]

Still remember in 5th grade I had a red mark on my report card next to mathematics hehehe...Good I could score better after that (atleast the pass marks).

Well...thanking all the teachers who taught me maths (atleast I know simple addition now...the rest can be taken care of by computers and calculators!!!)