i want a lil puppy! i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!i want a lil puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH THAT'S ONE BIG TANTRUM... MOMMY ARE YOU LISTENING...i WANT A CUTE LIL PUPPY!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Awakening
So, while I have been in my own sweet little home, enjoying the peaceful moments of my sweet new found life, I was awakened and shattered with the recent Terror Plot that hit our very own Mumbai. (not that I would be hurt lesser if it would be some other place…it would still be in INDIA and it would still be motherland)
The past week has brought out the real faces of the people who govern us…and of those who we believe will protect us…(No offences meant, I sincerely bow down to all those who laid their lives in this fight against terror). But what I have hated the most is the two faced people sitting at the top positions “waiting” for someone to die!!! Does it hurt to act before things really go out of control!
I don’t know if its anger that I feel or is it the misery that engulfs my mind…Paradoxical as it may sound I feel “we” the citizens are equally responsible for that happens to us…because it’s our government that handles our lives (?)…for them we are just dogs, or senseless people talking to streets…when will we realize the importance of our own life…? When will we stop playing the blame game..when will we be awakened…?!
The past week has brought out the real faces of the people who govern us…and of those who we believe will protect us…(No offences meant, I sincerely bow down to all those who laid their lives in this fight against terror). But what I have hated the most is the two faced people sitting at the top positions “waiting” for someone to die!!! Does it hurt to act before things really go out of control!
I don’t know if its anger that I feel or is it the misery that engulfs my mind…Paradoxical as it may sound I feel “we” the citizens are equally responsible for that happens to us…because it’s our government that handles our lives (?)…for them we are just dogs, or senseless people talking to streets…when will we realize the importance of our own life…? When will we stop playing the blame game..when will we be awakened…?!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Gettin back to blogging.
Alllllright....
So I am back to blogging...am not quite sure if I really am, because I am still in "dazed mode" and dont really feel like working !!!!:)
The vaccation post wedding has done some good (like I've lost a few kilos and also have quit a few bad habits i was living with).
There's so much that has happened over the last 50 odd days that it's getting difficult for me to recognize myself.
I dont know if it's the newer perspective that has helped me have a different (read newer) attitude towards life or is it my real self that has finally surfaced.
I am gonna get back with a few interesting things....but for now...this is just to say Heya!!! I am back :)
So I am back to blogging...am not quite sure if I really am, because I am still in "dazed mode" and dont really feel like working !!!!:)
The vaccation post wedding has done some good (like I've lost a few kilos and also have quit a few bad habits i was living with).
There's so much that has happened over the last 50 odd days that it's getting difficult for me to recognize myself.
I dont know if it's the newer perspective that has helped me have a different (read newer) attitude towards life or is it my real self that has finally surfaced.
I am gonna get back with a few interesting things....but for now...this is just to say Heya!!! I am back :)
Monday, September 22, 2008
An angel descends...!
... I have always believed in angels...and i have always known there's one protecting me and helping me all the time...I call him my guardian angel...and well he's my best friend too...!
I have seen this protection time again and again. I have seen my angel give me strength when I felt like giving up and also seen my angel support me, when everything was falling apart. I have also seen my angel cry with me...when there was nothing I could do! ( yes,angel's cry too; for they are no Gods,but His instruments).
We never realize,but there is one guardian angel around us...sometimes even more. It takes a tough and trying situation for us to know and realize that we are all surrounded by angels. They are there all the time...some times we see them...in action. Appearing from no where and picking you from dirt and saving you!! Helping you overcome situations,by just being there.
I saw my second angel today....and i guess i should say that i'm lucky...because not everyone sees angels.and i have 2 of them :)
I have seen this protection time again and again. I have seen my angel give me strength when I felt like giving up and also seen my angel support me, when everything was falling apart. I have also seen my angel cry with me...when there was nothing I could do! ( yes,angel's cry too; for they are no Gods,but His instruments).
We never realize,but there is one guardian angel around us...sometimes even more. It takes a tough and trying situation for us to know and realize that we are all surrounded by angels. They are there all the time...some times we see them...in action. Appearing from no where and picking you from dirt and saving you!! Helping you overcome situations,by just being there.
I saw my second angel today....and i guess i should say that i'm lucky...because not everyone sees angels.and i have 2 of them :)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What am I on to......!!!!
So there’s been this topsy turvy …one hell of a time roller coaster ride for me for over couple of weeks and guess what! It doesn’t seem to end. The moment I feel the ride has come to an end and that I can breathe easy, the engines set off again taking wildest detours and get me off guard so much so that I am only a few steps away from being thrown off.
And when it does get over, and I feel that all is going to be fine, and I can cross over to the other side and get myself out of the tricky situation, I realize, the only way that I can get on to the other side, is take another roller coaster….(beat that).
Of course, I once upon a time felt that life should not be a routine and always wanted to see some adventure that give a sense and taste of different things in life, albeit I never expected that one day I would be dealing with one thing after the other (at times there’s more happening around than I can actually handle). I long for some time to relax my daunted nerves and cooling off my head which has a tendency of blowing up at split second frequencies.
Its nightmarish while I am awake, and sleep is increasingly becoming a luxury.
I wait, I pray, I hope for things to fall in place…
And when it does get over, and I feel that all is going to be fine, and I can cross over to the other side and get myself out of the tricky situation, I realize, the only way that I can get on to the other side, is take another roller coaster….(beat that).
Of course, I once upon a time felt that life should not be a routine and always wanted to see some adventure that give a sense and taste of different things in life, albeit I never expected that one day I would be dealing with one thing after the other (at times there’s more happening around than I can actually handle). I long for some time to relax my daunted nerves and cooling off my head which has a tendency of blowing up at split second frequencies.
Its nightmarish while I am awake, and sleep is increasingly becoming a luxury.
I wait, I pray, I hope for things to fall in place…
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A thought of life....
Life…
It is full of surprises. It takes turns in weird ways and takes you through something that you have least expected.
Sometimes, you feel that everything around you is just so right, only to realize that you are just a few steps away from an approaching disaster, that may change the direction of your life. Sometimes you are sleeping peacefully dreaming about the most beautiful things in your life, a sudden tremor that appears from nowhere; shakes you up pulling off the ground beneath your feet and get you down …to reality. At times you feel you are listening to the most soothing music and then suddenly there’s an eardrum splitting, nerve cracking sound that violates your very reason of being alive.
And there are other times when you think everything is so improbably improper. All you see is just a mist of darkness around, no sign of life, and light. A numbing cold chill…of unexpected fears that engulf your mind. And out of nowhere, you see a speck of light, a sign of life, a warm breeze that comes over swiftly and you the comfort and warmth, like being in the protective lap of your mother.
Strangely enough, there are some good warm surprises as there are some reckless , ruthless surprises that await us every moment. To see beyond them and to live to accept and accustom to them is an art. Most of us do not even know of it or attempt to learn about it until we are at the verge of saying our final goodbyes from this land of materialistic fantasies, fallacies.
Inspite of this, we live, we learn, we ignore, we grieve, we hope. Sometimes with closed eyes we see the real beauty of life…and sometimes nothing at all even with eyes wide open.
It is full of surprises. It takes turns in weird ways and takes you through something that you have least expected.
Sometimes, you feel that everything around you is just so right, only to realize that you are just a few steps away from an approaching disaster, that may change the direction of your life. Sometimes you are sleeping peacefully dreaming about the most beautiful things in your life, a sudden tremor that appears from nowhere; shakes you up pulling off the ground beneath your feet and get you down …to reality. At times you feel you are listening to the most soothing music and then suddenly there’s an eardrum splitting, nerve cracking sound that violates your very reason of being alive.
And there are other times when you think everything is so improbably improper. All you see is just a mist of darkness around, no sign of life, and light. A numbing cold chill…of unexpected fears that engulf your mind. And out of nowhere, you see a speck of light, a sign of life, a warm breeze that comes over swiftly and you the comfort and warmth, like being in the protective lap of your mother.
Strangely enough, there are some good warm surprises as there are some reckless , ruthless surprises that await us every moment. To see beyond them and to live to accept and accustom to them is an art. Most of us do not even know of it or attempt to learn about it until we are at the verge of saying our final goodbyes from this land of materialistic fantasies, fallacies.
Inspite of this, we live, we learn, we ignore, we grieve, we hope. Sometimes with closed eyes we see the real beauty of life…and sometimes nothing at all even with eyes wide open.
Monday, September 15, 2008
how very stupid!!!
All I keep thinking is…how stupid! Everything that I think has to end with these words.. “how very stupid”. Nothing really, but since my new found hobby is self analysis and introspection…all I get at the end of it is “how very stupid of me”
At times when people talk to me about it I really get infuriated…well that’s because sometimes our vision is clouded (after all, human nature). But then when I think about it later, it seems everything makes sense and then again I tell myself…..how very stupid of me!
If one has to find the biggest stupid on earth…who can whine and cry and then laugh out shamelessly at the same time…the search ends here….I think I am one of those few prototypes God accidently created (and maybe he too regrets now). I perhaps can wear the infamous crown for being one the biggest stupid on earth!
Well after reading this if you feel the same….I wouldn’t be surprised!!! :D
At times when people talk to me about it I really get infuriated…well that’s because sometimes our vision is clouded (after all, human nature). But then when I think about it later, it seems everything makes sense and then again I tell myself…..how very stupid of me!
If one has to find the biggest stupid on earth…who can whine and cry and then laugh out shamelessly at the same time…the search ends here….I think I am one of those few prototypes God accidently created (and maybe he too regrets now). I perhaps can wear the infamous crown for being one the biggest stupid on earth!
Well after reading this if you feel the same….I wouldn’t be surprised!!! :D
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A.S.U.R
I have been trying to make myself understand my own behavior… (is’nt that good for a change). And while I was reading some of my own older posts, I realized that I have a sickeningly depressive drone…with a few bubbles of joy that come and pop up the moment they surface.
I think I suffer from ASUR (Acquired Stress for Unknown Reasons). Well well…these are a few symptoms of….my newly discovered state of mind (no Psychiatrist told me about it!) Off late, I think I’ve become tooooooooo sloppy, grouchy and in a way indifferent.(No, no, this is no case of lower self esteem, because if it was…I perhaps wouldn’t be writing praises for myself :P .
My mood swings have gone way beyond my control…and I don’t know (even while I write for this post) if I am depressed, sad, worried, emotionless, cold or happy (confusing isn’t it!). But on the other hand I am willfully glee, jumpy and excited at all the times….(now this is even more confusing!). I don’t know the reasons…or may be , I know and perhaps I do not want to “accept” them…hehehe.
Damn! Something is missing………
I think I suffer from ASUR (Acquired Stress for Unknown Reasons). Well well…these are a few symptoms of….my newly discovered state of mind (no Psychiatrist told me about it!) Off late, I think I’ve become tooooooooo sloppy, grouchy and in a way indifferent.(No, no, this is no case of lower self esteem, because if it was…I perhaps wouldn’t be writing praises for myself :P .
My mood swings have gone way beyond my control…and I don’t know (even while I write for this post) if I am depressed, sad, worried, emotionless, cold or happy (confusing isn’t it!). But on the other hand I am willfully glee, jumpy and excited at all the times….(now this is even more confusing!). I don’t know the reasons…or may be , I know and perhaps I do not want to “accept” them…hehehe.
Damn! Something is missing………
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
here's one to pune rains!!!! (and everything else)
So the rain has caused ample havoc in the city…well I think it is wrong to say that the rain caused a havoc, it is actually the infrastructure that gets immensely messed up when it rains (a tad heavier than normal)
I have in my life in Pune never seen rains so heavy (well in my life in Pune I have never seen such chaos either)
All I am seeing for over last 5 days is a heavy rain….leading to water logging thanks to ill planned roads and no contingency planning! A disaster when everyone leaves homes at the same time…..what I saw in terms of traffic says that! Jams that could make you feel miserable and that you cannot move a step ahead or back. Once you are stuck …then its like a victory when you make thru a few yards in an hour!
It looks so strange, the city looks like its been taken over by extended mass hysteria! (not that it normally does’nt look so, but considering the past few days it looks so! Only a degree higher)
Strange…inspite of the roads that sport potholes shamelessly, traffic that sucks! And all the irrational “human error” driven traffic jams…I am still in absolute love with this city!
I have in my life in Pune never seen rains so heavy (well in my life in Pune I have never seen such chaos either)
All I am seeing for over last 5 days is a heavy rain….leading to water logging thanks to ill planned roads and no contingency planning! A disaster when everyone leaves homes at the same time…..what I saw in terms of traffic says that! Jams that could make you feel miserable and that you cannot move a step ahead or back. Once you are stuck …then its like a victory when you make thru a few yards in an hour!
It looks so strange, the city looks like its been taken over by extended mass hysteria! (not that it normally does’nt look so, but considering the past few days it looks so! Only a degree higher)
Strange…inspite of the roads that sport potholes shamelessly, traffic that sucks! And all the irrational “human error” driven traffic jams…I am still in absolute love with this city!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I won on this one!
We had a rangoli competition in office today! (marking the begining of Ganesh festival that starts tommorow).
Well the pic does'nt look too good....it started raining cats and dogs by the time we finished it and the terrace roof could'nt do much!!
(my team mate helped me winning on this one!!! Thanks pal!)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Cute puppy
I got to meet this sweet lil angel there at Maval Srushti....cute puppy (it was so tiny!!!!)
Is'nt he cuteeeeee..........!
Maval Srushti
So… I finally managed to have a weekend outing (well not the whole weekend out..just a day)
There’s this place called Maval Srushti (some people might be aware of this one by the name Girivan). I took office folks out for a day outing, with lots of fun and team building contests. It turned out well…much better than I expected it to be!
This place is set on a hill top, lush green forest, landscaped resort area and hell yeah! A waterfall too (well that was dry, thanks to rains …they have’nt been too good this year; barring yesterday which was a outta-nowhere more than a splitter splatter downfall!)
The journey from Pune to the place took us about one and a half hour. With people playing and singing in the bus, it was a happy ride! We reached and immediately went to the canteen to eat(damn we were hungry…and nothing better than good old “poha” the superb marathi way!) ; then a treasure hunt and some fun at the water fall…..and man! It was tiring… lunch was good too (we ate as if we had’nt eaten in years) A few more games and viola…time to leave.
It was a good outing all in all (but hell my health was a bit on the lower side, so I got deeply exhausted) and was having a real bad headache which did not go even with two Disprins!!!
But….yes it was indeed Amazing….
There’s this place called Maval Srushti (some people might be aware of this one by the name Girivan). I took office folks out for a day outing, with lots of fun and team building contests. It turned out well…much better than I expected it to be!
This place is set on a hill top, lush green forest, landscaped resort area and hell yeah! A waterfall too (well that was dry, thanks to rains …they have’nt been too good this year; barring yesterday which was a outta-nowhere more than a splitter splatter downfall!)
The journey from Pune to the place took us about one and a half hour. With people playing and singing in the bus, it was a happy ride! We reached and immediately went to the canteen to eat(damn we were hungry…and nothing better than good old “poha” the superb marathi way!) ; then a treasure hunt and some fun at the water fall…..and man! It was tiring… lunch was good too (we ate as if we had’nt eaten in years) A few more games and viola…time to leave.
It was a good outing all in all (but hell my health was a bit on the lower side, so I got deeply exhausted) and was having a real bad headache which did not go even with two Disprins!!!
But….yes it was indeed Amazing….
Friday, August 29, 2008
I am back....(I guess)
My oh My!!
I just saw the date of the last post I made on the blog! Man…I can’t believe I have kept “away” from blogging since almost 10 days!!! Weird…
Well..and obvious reasoning..I have been busy…with what…hell…I don’t know! Well actually more than the business…a weird lethargy has taken over me :( I kinda am feeling sick and tired and virtually in absolutely no mood to do anything …everything is looking just so … unreasonably boring.
Lately, I haven’t been putting any effort in anything…nothing absolutely whatsoever. I have’nt done any paintings ….(in fact I have’nt even touched the one I start about 2 weeks ago)
….I just don’t feel like doing anything…
Eowwww…It’s just getting so damn lousy!!! grrrrrrr
I just saw the date of the last post I made on the blog! Man…I can’t believe I have kept “away” from blogging since almost 10 days!!! Weird…
Well..and obvious reasoning..I have been busy…with what…hell…I don’t know! Well actually more than the business…a weird lethargy has taken over me :( I kinda am feeling sick and tired and virtually in absolutely no mood to do anything …everything is looking just so … unreasonably boring.
Lately, I haven’t been putting any effort in anything…nothing absolutely whatsoever. I have’nt done any paintings ….(in fact I have’nt even touched the one I start about 2 weeks ago)
….I just don’t feel like doing anything…
Eowwww…It’s just getting so damn lousy!!! grrrrrrr
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
eeeeeeeeeeeks...!
I am dirt damned and frustrated today. Sometimes I feel there’s a dearth of fools around. Of people who really don’t know what they are doing and what they are doing. To top it up, most do not even know a valid reason of why they are doing so. And when they do something, they don’t have the courage to stand and answer for themselves.
For those who speak their heart out and do not hesitate voicing their opinions…Kudos…to them! But hell they are the ones who often are considered as a threat… and out casted.
We all make mistakes and only a few learn from them (some morons learn and forget!) It’s funny sometimes when confronted, some speak things that clearly indicates their inability to deal with what faces them, all they precisely speak about is covering up their own naked dirty a*** (sorry for the foul language); but I speak my heart out and I don’t fear being labeled as a trouble maker (yes some people think of me that way).
But…that’s an everyday story!!!
For those who speak their heart out and do not hesitate voicing their opinions…Kudos…to them! But hell they are the ones who often are considered as a threat… and out casted.
We all make mistakes and only a few learn from them (some morons learn and forget!) It’s funny sometimes when confronted, some speak things that clearly indicates their inability to deal with what faces them, all they precisely speak about is covering up their own naked dirty a*** (sorry for the foul language); but I speak my heart out and I don’t fear being labeled as a trouble maker (yes some people think of me that way).
But…that’s an everyday story!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Catching up
Off-late my head has been bouncing like a crazyball. Hitting one thing to the other...and boy! It ends up aching big time.
Work's been snail speeding and home front a little feiry.
Nothing seemed to be going as planned : (
only good thing...the rains are back with an awesome bang! Weather's been pleasant too....
but something missing....
my mind... Yeah i guess!
Work's been snail speeding and home front a little feiry.
Nothing seemed to be going as planned : (
only good thing...the rains are back with an awesome bang! Weather's been pleasant too....
but something missing....
my mind... Yeah i guess!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Kulfi...fiestaaa!!!!
It’s almost time to leave from office (yet another hour to go though) and I was hungry and we don’t have an in-house cafeteria yet so usually we have to call for snacks from outside. This time though we planned to go out at a nearby bhel-puri joint and eat something.
There’s this excellent bhel puri joint nearby and eat nice ragda…yummy umm. Its awesome to eat chaat in the rains. And most of us have tried chaats in the rains… but has anyone ever tried having kulfi ??! hehehe I did…just now. The stall that I went to eat chaat at, has some special Kulfi’s too on the menu!
It’s been a childhood favorite and I still remember having kulfi’s from the kulfiwala who used to come outside our school when the school got over. And given a chance who wouldn’t like to have a taste of it??! Neither could I resist the urge to eat kulfi when I got to know that Kulfi’s are available here . So I quickly gobbled down the Ragda and then got kulfi. Now since I was out during office hours, it is not advisable that I spend a lot of time outside office during office hours, so instead of finishing the Kulfi at the joint, I decided to eat it, walking back to office.
I am sure it must have been looking really funny...for most people would want to drink nice hot chai in such a weather. It’s was drizzling and I was eating the kulfi……wow!!! What an amazing feeling:D. The temperature has been really low for the past few days and that helped keeping the kulfi from melting down. :D woooooooooohooo!
Now that was a refreshing break!!!
[for those who don’t know what Kulfi mean: it is our own Indian Ice-cream, made out of milk, cream, some dry fruits. Its’ molded in long conical moulds and set on a reasonable thick cut bamboo stick or softwood stick]
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Blabbering out...
Its past midnight...and i am kinda slightly drowsy. I have been trying to get some good sleep since an hour,but my eyes refuse to comply to the reflex messages my brain is sending...
Everything around is quiet...or so it seems. I can hear the rain outside amidst some muffled low music (aerosmith...i dont want to miss you)...a slight humming sound caused by the fan...and an occassional ticking of the clock....hehe...funny that i am able to notice the sound of a perceived silence.
I wonder if i was so detail oriented even at work i would perhaps take over the top boss's place soon. (devil laughter)
Yawn...yawn....my mindless blabbering seems to be working (yawn) ...time to hit the sack !
Everything around is quiet...or so it seems. I can hear the rain outside amidst some muffled low music (aerosmith...i dont want to miss you)...a slight humming sound caused by the fan...and an occassional ticking of the clock....hehe...funny that i am able to notice the sound of a perceived silence.
I wonder if i was so detail oriented even at work i would perhaps take over the top boss's place soon. (devil laughter)
Yawn...yawn....my mindless blabbering seems to be working (yawn) ...time to hit the sack !
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Search : self (?)
Sometimes....nah! Not sometimes infact all the time I wonder that 'why on the earth do i get myself into situation that i cannot handle?'
Either there's a problem with me or with my perception of things,situations and people around me....I just dont seem to make sense to myself :(
I keep on thinking to myself...what's the next possible disaster I am taking myself towards?! Silly me....I just cannot keep my head working right.
Its not even that i am wreck....fortunately, i am blessed with all that one can possibly want to lead a happy life...
The only thing that i know for sure is...that i m still far from perfect and am far from what i really ever wanted to be.....long way to go....perhaps i would be better someday....
'Get focussed! TRANSFORM' .....?!! Well,yeah...may be.
Either there's a problem with me or with my perception of things,situations and people around me....I just dont seem to make sense to myself :(
I keep on thinking to myself...what's the next possible disaster I am taking myself towards?! Silly me....I just cannot keep my head working right.
Its not even that i am wreck....fortunately, i am blessed with all that one can possibly want to lead a happy life...
The only thing that i know for sure is...that i m still far from perfect and am far from what i really ever wanted to be.....long way to go....perhaps i would be better someday....
'Get focussed! TRANSFORM' .....?!! Well,yeah...may be.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Happy birthday dost!
So it's my best Pal's birthday today....I am sure he'd take a look at this page atleast 300 million times :P.......Happy Birthday dear Wizzy!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Crash landing
Sometimes...
I feel when god sent me to earth he must've wrongly packed me and i must've had a crash landing...with my head first and that must have fallen flat on the ground!
This crash landing seems to have made an invisible dent on my head and that must've lead to superior malfunctioning in my brain!
...over the years i've started feeling that my brain does not function in a normal manner...i find my own self being a stranger to me at times and sumtimes i am an unexpected example of myself. I have at times said and done things that i am myself unaware of ... Or to be precisely and be politically correct... Unsure of!
it is said that people learn and grow with experience...and get wiser by comprehending the situations around them! But with me... It never seems to work! I neither seem to learn nor correct...or get wiser for that matter! I may have learnt to be oblivious and may have learnt it unknowingly.....i say that because, for all that i've seen,done, spoken of or preached... I find myself doing exactly the same, over and over again!!
i dont hate myself for what i am...but for what i make people around me...and to see that i provoke fatal events scares even me!
I feel when god sent me to earth he must've wrongly packed me and i must've had a crash landing...with my head first and that must have fallen flat on the ground!
This crash landing seems to have made an invisible dent on my head and that must've lead to superior malfunctioning in my brain!
...over the years i've started feeling that my brain does not function in a normal manner...i find my own self being a stranger to me at times and sumtimes i am an unexpected example of myself. I have at times said and done things that i am myself unaware of ... Or to be precisely and be politically correct... Unsure of!
it is said that people learn and grow with experience...and get wiser by comprehending the situations around them! But with me... It never seems to work! I neither seem to learn nor correct...or get wiser for that matter! I may have learnt to be oblivious and may have learnt it unknowingly.....i say that because, for all that i've seen,done, spoken of or preached... I find myself doing exactly the same, over and over again!!
i dont hate myself for what i am...but for what i make people around me...and to see that i provoke fatal events scares even me!
lost again....
A fragile mind
seems to have lost its way again
no matter what it tries to find
all that's found is in vain
Perplexed and shaken
yet, it fights the pain
misunderstood and mistaken
but not yet insane
charred and burnt
remanants of a cremated heart remain....
seems to have lost its way again
no matter what it tries to find
all that's found is in vain
Perplexed and shaken
yet, it fights the pain
misunderstood and mistaken
but not yet insane
charred and burnt
remanants of a cremated heart remain....
Yo! I love the rains.................
It’s been raining over the past three days and it really feels good to see the weather get so pleasant (those who don’t like the rains…..Pardon me!).
The sky’s overcast, rain drizzling and a slight breeze caressing the fresh green leaves of the trees around…..birds flying helter skelter….and a soft aroma of drenched soil and wild grass filling the air….vehicles passing splashing water logged on the roads…hmmmmmmmmmm!.
Office saw most people arriving in late (yes! You guessed it….it’s the rains). The first thing at office was, a nice hot chai from anna’s tapree right across the street……what a start to the day!
It’s been a roller coaster ride today morning….it was raining all the way….some places witnessing water logging lead traffic snarls the others had scary skid-prominent-spots, Street signals gone berserk and the traffic cops paying no heed to either :)
I got partially drenched in rain…but I don’t mind since I really enjoy getting wet in the rain. My helmet keeps the rain drops from hurting my face and blurring vision while driving, so I enjoy the rain without worrying about getting into an accident. I took this extra precaution of wearing a sweater underneath my raincoat (it kinda gets chilly when it’s raining and you are driving even if at a minimal speed of 40kmph. (Though I think some people might consider even that high considering the rain…but that’s ok the Pune way!)
It’s been tad chilly since morning and I haven’t dared to turn the AC on….aaah.. I guess I need another chai!
The sky’s overcast, rain drizzling and a slight breeze caressing the fresh green leaves of the trees around…..birds flying helter skelter….and a soft aroma of drenched soil and wild grass filling the air….vehicles passing splashing water logged on the roads…hmmmmmmmmmm!.
Office saw most people arriving in late (yes! You guessed it….it’s the rains). The first thing at office was, a nice hot chai from anna’s tapree right across the street……what a start to the day!
It’s been a roller coaster ride today morning….it was raining all the way….some places witnessing water logging lead traffic snarls the others had scary skid-prominent-spots, Street signals gone berserk and the traffic cops paying no heed to either :)
I got partially drenched in rain…but I don’t mind since I really enjoy getting wet in the rain. My helmet keeps the rain drops from hurting my face and blurring vision while driving, so I enjoy the rain without worrying about getting into an accident. I took this extra precaution of wearing a sweater underneath my raincoat (it kinda gets chilly when it’s raining and you are driving even if at a minimal speed of 40kmph. (Though I think some people might consider even that high considering the rain…but that’s ok the Pune way!)
It’s been tad chilly since morning and I haven’t dared to turn the AC on….aaah.. I guess I need another chai!
Monday, July 28, 2008
being home @ home!!!!
…..hehehehehe
I still cannot stop laughing…. I had this amazing time at home this Sunday. It was raining throughout the day (and yipppie!!! It seems the Rain Gods have shown some mercy and if it continues to rain for a few more days…..we’ll have the water reservoirs full and NO power cuts!!! )
Everyone was home this Sunday…dad, mom, sis, lil sis and of course me! Thanks to the rains no one made plans to go out and everyone was confined to home… with no power cut …we all had this hell of a time watching a Hindi flick (Some Shahid & Kareena starrer…Chup chup ke.)It was a well made comedy (at least I felt that….considering I am not a movie maniac).
Lil sis has turned out to be a well seasoned humor cracker (I wonder where she learnt it all from) every word she speaks is intentionally (and without warning) made to make you laugh till your guts spill out.
Sunday evening was even funnier….it was raining and we all (my sis, lil sis and me) planned to go eat gol-gappas (pani-puri) at a stall near our place….and wow! It was amazing to have gol gappas in the rain….with my lil sis cracking her tiny spill-out-laughter-nonsensical-quips…..Well…we all ended up gobbling some sumptuous gol gappas only to have a slightly upset tummy later in the evening….grrrr!
All in all had a good time…and to very specifically say….it really felt like being home at home!
I still cannot stop laughing…. I had this amazing time at home this Sunday. It was raining throughout the day (and yipppie!!! It seems the Rain Gods have shown some mercy and if it continues to rain for a few more days…..we’ll have the water reservoirs full and NO power cuts!!! )
Everyone was home this Sunday…dad, mom, sis, lil sis and of course me! Thanks to the rains no one made plans to go out and everyone was confined to home… with no power cut …we all had this hell of a time watching a Hindi flick (Some Shahid & Kareena starrer…Chup chup ke.)It was a well made comedy (at least I felt that….considering I am not a movie maniac).
Lil sis has turned out to be a well seasoned humor cracker (I wonder where she learnt it all from) every word she speaks is intentionally (and without warning) made to make you laugh till your guts spill out.
Sunday evening was even funnier….it was raining and we all (my sis, lil sis and me) planned to go eat gol-gappas (pani-puri) at a stall near our place….and wow! It was amazing to have gol gappas in the rain….with my lil sis cracking her tiny spill-out-laughter-nonsensical-quips…..Well…we all ended up gobbling some sumptuous gol gappas only to have a slightly upset tummy later in the evening….grrrr!
All in all had a good time…and to very specifically say….it really felt like being home at home!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Cute puppies
I'd been to Mc. Donald's today (i m not a fan of the joint) but sometimes i do binge on the veg burgers n fries....but that's not what made me smile...
While i was heading out after a quick meal...to the parking lot I saw these two lil pups playing with each other....undaunted by the miseries of the world that surrounds them....these two cuties were so lovable that I could'nt stop myself from going and playing with them....and my!my! It was so cute when the puppies came jumping the moment I pett them...."awww choo cute" was all could say!
I wish I could take'em home.....but then mommy dear would throw me out.! And that would make three of us homeless hehe!
While i was heading out after a quick meal...to the parking lot I saw these two lil pups playing with each other....undaunted by the miseries of the world that surrounds them....these two cuties were so lovable that I could'nt stop myself from going and playing with them....and my!my! It was so cute when the puppies came jumping the moment I pett them...."awww choo cute" was all could say!
I wish I could take'em home.....but then mommy dear would throw me out.! And that would make three of us homeless hehe!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Morons..........
This is one of those days when one feels rage. I feel it today to the core of my heart.
Today noon, I get this news of a few bomb blasts in Bangalore (although, its neither my home town, nor the place where I live, but I have stayed in Bangalore for a few months and it really changed my way of life!)
I hate those ill minded morons (read sadists ) who derive pleasure or feel the sense of power from terrorizing innocent people. Hatred dwells in their minds agreed…But why direct it to those who are not even remotely concerned with their cause!!!
Though the blasts were not majorly damaging, but sure terrorized people...for a while (beause we are Indians and we can stand up agains such things in no time!).
It sent in a shock wave amongst people (including me) who have some dear ones settled in Bangalore. The next instance saw people calling and jamming the phone line (and to top it up the damned Airtel network sucks!).
I just hope everything settles soon…and everyone reaches home safe….Tomorrow is another day and I hope the insane morons who plotted these blasts end up having diarrhea.
Today noon, I get this news of a few bomb blasts in Bangalore (although, its neither my home town, nor the place where I live, but I have stayed in Bangalore for a few months and it really changed my way of life!)
I hate those ill minded morons (read sadists ) who derive pleasure or feel the sense of power from terrorizing innocent people. Hatred dwells in their minds agreed…But why direct it to those who are not even remotely concerned with their cause!!!
Though the blasts were not majorly damaging, but sure terrorized people...for a while (beause we are Indians and we can stand up agains such things in no time!).
It sent in a shock wave amongst people (including me) who have some dear ones settled in Bangalore. The next instance saw people calling and jamming the phone line (and to top it up the damned Airtel network sucks!).
I just hope everything settles soon…and everyone reaches home safe….Tomorrow is another day and I hope the insane morons who plotted these blasts end up having diarrhea.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Rain clouds have mood swings too!!
It had been a dry spell for nearly a month now ( I mean strictly in terms of monsoon rains….hehe). And it kind of becomes pretty irritating the humid air, hot weather and NO RAINS!!!
Well at last…it rained ( for a while only! ) While it started with a great spitter-spatter, it looked as though it would rain the rest of the evening, but hell….it seems the rain isn’t interested in making a splash in town this year! (Considering the beginning of the season, it now seems to be a sick monsoon).
Well we hope that it rains….else all the beautiful picnic spots are going to go for a toss with withered wild flowers and otherwise oh so green vegetation.
I feel my mind has a direct co-relation with the behavior of the clouds in the sky... they too seem to have exactly similar mood swings like I do (no…please don’t blame mine to the biological aspects of the woman kind!)
Anyways… this small shower of rain has got some relief….hope it is here to stay (only for the season…I don’t want my fellow citizens cursing me later for having invited the floods either!!)
Time to take a look at the washed up road……
Well at last…it rained ( for a while only! ) While it started with a great spitter-spatter, it looked as though it would rain the rest of the evening, but hell….it seems the rain isn’t interested in making a splash in town this year! (Considering the beginning of the season, it now seems to be a sick monsoon).
Well we hope that it rains….else all the beautiful picnic spots are going to go for a toss with withered wild flowers and otherwise oh so green vegetation.
I feel my mind has a direct co-relation with the behavior of the clouds in the sky... they too seem to have exactly similar mood swings like I do (no…please don’t blame mine to the biological aspects of the woman kind!)
Anyways… this small shower of rain has got some relief….hope it is here to stay (only for the season…I don’t want my fellow citizens cursing me later for having invited the floods either!!)
Time to take a look at the washed up road……
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Inner self
I have been thinking...nothing in particular but all about myself... (yeah i am one of those who are 'me' centric)
Sometimes my own thoughts and actions make no sense at all even to myself and I often wonder 'huh! What the hell on the earth am I doing'.
No, I do not cry for having made mistakes...or regret or for that matter pity myself! I just know one thing for sure and believe it to the possible depth of it and that is 'all things u do have a reason...and sometimes you yourself dont know the reason!'
But then again, it's human to think...rethink ....of past and of future...of the things that have been or could have been,of how better you once were and where you can be....
Everyone is happy and sad at the same time...only thing that varies is the degree of it....
I have, off-late been trying to know my inner self...and all that i found was a perfect stranger within me...who is not me but a part of me....
Ultimately at the end of everyday what I am thinking is 'who am i?'
Sometimes my own thoughts and actions make no sense at all even to myself and I often wonder 'huh! What the hell on the earth am I doing'.
No, I do not cry for having made mistakes...or regret or for that matter pity myself! I just know one thing for sure and believe it to the possible depth of it and that is 'all things u do have a reason...and sometimes you yourself dont know the reason!'
But then again, it's human to think...rethink ....of past and of future...of the things that have been or could have been,of how better you once were and where you can be....
Everyone is happy and sad at the same time...only thing that varies is the degree of it....
I have, off-late been trying to know my inner self...and all that i found was a perfect stranger within me...who is not me but a part of me....
Ultimately at the end of everyday what I am thinking is 'who am i?'
Friday, July 18, 2008
Inso-maniac!
...its past midnight and my insomniac tendencies seem to be stretching every passing day.
I just wound up my daily dose of teaching myself to calm my mind by means of painting something.....and then thought of reading something (atleast that would help me get sleepy!) but, like always my brain,mind and body seem to have taken their own seperate paths....
Surprisingly, I am not as fatigued either...but definitely restless...am feeling a tad cranky too....
Its weekend already and I have absolutely no clue what I would do....!
Ah! I would be at work in the morning...
I just wound up my daily dose of teaching myself to calm my mind by means of painting something.....and then thought of reading something (atleast that would help me get sleepy!) but, like always my brain,mind and body seem to have taken their own seperate paths....
Surprisingly, I am not as fatigued either...but definitely restless...am feeling a tad cranky too....
Its weekend already and I have absolutely no clue what I would do....!
Ah! I would be at work in the morning...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
pea sized brain at work.....(of art)
I got this huge stack of photos (most of them cactus flowers) collected from the web (with due respect and thanks to the original owners of the photos)
I am going to attempt painting some of them (I still haven’t figured out or yet decided the method or means I am going to use). But I believe it is going to be good fun….especially since I am getting back the creative stint, Mom blessed me with (she is a very good artist herself)….though I am far from good compared to what my cousin ‘s art work is (he makes these absolutely stunning portraits, sketches , sculptures and not-so-easily-comprehensible pieces of art).
A photo of yellow-ochre and orange colored Japanese umbrellas which looks like slightly displaced concentric circles… is what that has caught my attention.
I think that would be my first attempt at trying…but there are at least 49 more shots of thorn clad beauties (the cactus flowers) and some landscapes and objects that I have collected and I am not sure which one will override my mood and senses when I pick up the drawing board and colors…..if not I think it would turn out something incomprehensible yet again!
It has been really long since I got in touch with the gifted skills of mine ( I call them gifted because since childhood, I have had this keen interest to play with colors and try to attempt creating something unique….so far have not been successful though)
Well I hope I stick to this one …it’s rare that I stick to what I decide to do…like my decision to quit smoke and get regular with my workouts…hehehe funny…I know I know…it aint that funny…but sometimes I just don’t care :P !
Lets see what my pea- sized-brain- in- a- barrel churns out today : )
I am going to attempt painting some of them (I still haven’t figured out or yet decided the method or means I am going to use). But I believe it is going to be good fun….especially since I am getting back the creative stint, Mom blessed me with (she is a very good artist herself)….though I am far from good compared to what my cousin ‘s art work is (he makes these absolutely stunning portraits, sketches , sculptures and not-so-easily-comprehensible pieces of art).
A photo of yellow-ochre and orange colored Japanese umbrellas which looks like slightly displaced concentric circles… is what that has caught my attention.
I think that would be my first attempt at trying…but there are at least 49 more shots of thorn clad beauties (the cactus flowers) and some landscapes and objects that I have collected and I am not sure which one will override my mood and senses when I pick up the drawing board and colors…..if not I think it would turn out something incomprehensible yet again!
It has been really long since I got in touch with the gifted skills of mine ( I call them gifted because since childhood, I have had this keen interest to play with colors and try to attempt creating something unique….so far have not been successful though)
Well I hope I stick to this one …it’s rare that I stick to what I decide to do…like my decision to quit smoke and get regular with my workouts…hehehe funny…I know I know…it aint that funny…but sometimes I just don’t care :P !
Lets see what my pea- sized-brain- in- a- barrel churns out today : )
Lemon Tree!!!
I was just sitting idle today doing nothing much (of course I believe I am a tad talented to finish work before time…hehe so much for the self –praise!) And I recollected this funny incident that my father tells everyone we meet ….
This dates back to, when I was a little girl.
I was (and even now am) very fond of “Nimbu Pani” (lemonade). In Punjabi (my mother tongue) we call it “shakanjmee”.
We then had a really small house and there was not much space to really have a big lawn or a kitchen garden. But my father has always had an interest in gardening.
One summer he got home a lemon sapling, while he was planting it, in whatever limited space we had, I went up to him and asked him inquisitively “what are you doing papa?”; My father knowing that I am fond of “Nimbu pani” and also knowing for a fact that I am far too short of patience as well, told me “this is a lemon sapling, and one day you will be able to make lots of Nimbu pani”. I was thrilled and was jumping all around the place talking about the lemon tree :).
The next day, when my father came back home from work, I walked up to him with something in my hands….and said “shakanjmee”.
My father couldn’t but stop laughing when I handed him...the lemon sapling pulled out from the roots!!!
Now I don’t really remember of having done this, but listening to my father narrate this to everyone…for a good hearty laugh …does leave me guessing….how foolish…but how so innocent!
This dates back to, when I was a little girl.
I was (and even now am) very fond of “Nimbu Pani” (lemonade). In Punjabi (my mother tongue) we call it “shakanjmee”.
We then had a really small house and there was not much space to really have a big lawn or a kitchen garden. But my father has always had an interest in gardening.
One summer he got home a lemon sapling, while he was planting it, in whatever limited space we had, I went up to him and asked him inquisitively “what are you doing papa?”; My father knowing that I am fond of “Nimbu pani” and also knowing for a fact that I am far too short of patience as well, told me “this is a lemon sapling, and one day you will be able to make lots of Nimbu pani”. I was thrilled and was jumping all around the place talking about the lemon tree :).
The next day, when my father came back home from work, I walked up to him with something in my hands….and said “shakanjmee”.
My father couldn’t but stop laughing when I handed him...the lemon sapling pulled out from the roots!!!
Now I don’t really remember of having done this, but listening to my father narrate this to everyone…for a good hearty laugh …does leave me guessing….how foolish…but how so innocent!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sims 2
...its been a boring day today with really nothing much exciting...at work or outside.
Evening I called of my regular schedule of activities. (i just felt doing nothing at all) But that too is kinda not acceptable.So...in an attempt to try breaking the monotony I headed of to my best friends place.
He had introduced me to this EA game called Sims 2 (a beautifully compiled life simulation game) I have been playing this game for over staggered 3 weeks and i m really hooked on to it!
A lovely game...it atleast put me off my senseless thoughts for a while (i was glued to the computer for 2 hrs today.)
hmmmm...atleast I feel tad better,(if not too good) now.
(yawn) time to catch sum sleep! Gudnite.....
Evening I called of my regular schedule of activities. (i just felt doing nothing at all) But that too is kinda not acceptable.So...in an attempt to try breaking the monotony I headed of to my best friends place.
He had introduced me to this EA game called Sims 2 (a beautifully compiled life simulation game) I have been playing this game for over staggered 3 weeks and i m really hooked on to it!
A lovely game...it atleast put me off my senseless thoughts for a while (i was glued to the computer for 2 hrs today.)
hmmmm...atleast I feel tad better,(if not too good) now.
(yawn) time to catch sum sleep! Gudnite.....
Yet another day!
Ummm...yet another day when I m feeling like being a worthless being! (no its not like being in a negative oh-so-poor-me!)
I sometimes just feel this, absolutely low! Down at the bottom of a dark unrecognizable pit. Entangled in my own futile (sometimes bizzare) thoughts.Trying to sort out my brain is a herculean task!
At times just one thought or should we say one damn thought is good to make you feel low (at times for practicaly no reason at all).
Considering the fact that one cannot be peppy n perky all the time, its obvious that there are some dull,dark and lifeless days. No matter what u try,what u do to cheer yourself up it just does not work!
Self analysis tells me the source...its your worries...no matter how big or small,they just start taking a toll! Sometimes knowingly and at other times unknowingly....!
Strange as it may seem...but we all know it! And still bother ourselves with worrying.
...i think i m sounding like the head-burried-in-sand pessimist. I hope tommorow is better and gets the life back in this wandering soul!
I sometimes just feel this, absolutely low! Down at the bottom of a dark unrecognizable pit. Entangled in my own futile (sometimes bizzare) thoughts.Trying to sort out my brain is a herculean task!
At times just one thought or should we say one damn thought is good to make you feel low (at times for practicaly no reason at all).
Considering the fact that one cannot be peppy n perky all the time, its obvious that there are some dull,dark and lifeless days. No matter what u try,what u do to cheer yourself up it just does not work!
Self analysis tells me the source...its your worries...no matter how big or small,they just start taking a toll! Sometimes knowingly and at other times unknowingly....!
Strange as it may seem...but we all know it! And still bother ourselves with worrying.
...i think i m sounding like the head-burried-in-sand pessimist. I hope tommorow is better and gets the life back in this wandering soul!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Head Butting!!!!
The day kicked off with a great note today morning and I am really glad :)
It was like having a silent victory over someone without even lifting an arm!! A battle of wits ;) (evil laughter) and implied power….(Tarzan call)
One doesn’t always have to do things the way they are expected to be done…. or stick to the dictum just because one has to…? Keep mum and not question the status quo? What's the fun in such a life (be it at work or outside work)
The ability to put your foot down; look straight in the eyes of your goal and barge ahead like there’s no tomorrow...is where the fun is! (although there are risks involved). It’s a thrill taking risks…(and the bigger the stake the higher the returns!).
It’s exhilarating to go the head-butting mode like a ram on the run (no… I won’t say the bull on the run because I am an Aries…the headstrong impulsive ram). It’s fun to just do it and then wait and watch….;)
Head butting might harm but what the hell!!! (at least you’ve shown what you have in you…the power, the wit, the courage and the confidence…!!!!) Remember Zidane Materazzi headbutt ??!!! Yeah, yeah I know you could be thinking how foolish..But we aren’t talking about “the way it has to be” anyways !!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Destiny's Sandbox
Wonder what that is all about… ? well I did not know it either until sometime ago : ) I just coined the term sometime today noon.
If you are working in a technical environment you would know what “Sandbox” means [no I don’t intend to give a dictionary meaning out here …hehehe]
Well ...we are all destiny's Sandboxes....Destiny tries and tests things on us…puts us through things and situations that seem weird. Things seem to be imperfect...sometimes leading to results that we expect; and sometimes nowhere close to our expectations....and we are left clueless often asking….why me??!!!
But that’s the way of life to help us become better people…!
If you are working in a technical environment you would know what “Sandbox” means [no I don’t intend to give a dictionary meaning out here …hehehe]
Well ...we are all destiny's Sandboxes....Destiny tries and tests things on us…puts us through things and situations that seem weird. Things seem to be imperfect...sometimes leading to results that we expect; and sometimes nowhere close to our expectations....and we are left clueless often asking….why me??!!!
But that’s the way of life to help us become better people…!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Aaaaaaaachoooo!!!
Aaaaaaaachoooo!!! Sniff sniff….eeeow : (
Here’s another gift from the rain God…I have a viral cold catching up (sniff). My nose is running really bad and my eyes are itchy (sniff) and I have actually lost the count of the number of times I have sneezed!
(sniff) (sniff)
Guess I will have some nice hot chicken soup with herbs and pepper when I get home....hmmmm that's when I get home!!! (sniff)
Here’s another gift from the rain God…I have a viral cold catching up (sniff). My nose is running really bad and my eyes are itchy (sniff) and I have actually lost the count of the number of times I have sneezed!
(sniff) (sniff)
Guess I will have some nice hot chicken soup with herbs and pepper when I get home....hmmmm that's when I get home!!! (sniff)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
more?
It takes us one small moment to have completely different view of life, people and things around us. Strange how we are hypocrites to our own beliefs and philosophies of life.
What we love …we love it till we really feel that it is good to us and loves us back and we hate it the moment it goes awry. And we hate a thing till we really see it hurting us in one way or the other until the so called object or person of hatred shows us a sign of affection/purposefulness. Not that I am complaining, I have done it times a one too many…and perhaps will do it till the end of life…thus are the ways of life.
It’s human to be not satisfied and its human to ask for more and more always. You call it greed if you have to make it sound lewd and aspiration if you want to sound it like there’s nothing more than that to your life…
…. greed/aspiration for more than you can see with million eyes, a craving to have things that you can collect with a hundred hands, pleasures that can put all your senses to work all at once, money that all the bank accounts in the world are yours and there’s still more to put away, food till you have tasted every bit of it and there’s even more waiting, applaud and appreciation for every breath that you take and still more….a desire to take everything from everyone and still feel that you have nothing!!!
This greed or should we see an aspiration for more (more and better) takes us places, we see, we look, we touch, we feel, we share, we care, we move , we stop, we cry, we smile… for everything that we get and tend to fail to realize one thing..that what passes by once will never come back…the words said, the actions done….get embedded in your life like a part of some tattered pages in an old history book….and fail to realize that in our effort to look for more (more better) we miss out on what we have in front of us …this very moment.
What we love …we love it till we really feel that it is good to us and loves us back and we hate it the moment it goes awry. And we hate a thing till we really see it hurting us in one way or the other until the so called object or person of hatred shows us a sign of affection/purposefulness. Not that I am complaining, I have done it times a one too many…and perhaps will do it till the end of life…thus are the ways of life.
It’s human to be not satisfied and its human to ask for more and more always. You call it greed if you have to make it sound lewd and aspiration if you want to sound it like there’s nothing more than that to your life…
…. greed/aspiration for more than you can see with million eyes, a craving to have things that you can collect with a hundred hands, pleasures that can put all your senses to work all at once, money that all the bank accounts in the world are yours and there’s still more to put away, food till you have tasted every bit of it and there’s even more waiting, applaud and appreciation for every breath that you take and still more….a desire to take everything from everyone and still feel that you have nothing!!!
This greed or should we see an aspiration for more (more and better) takes us places, we see, we look, we touch, we feel, we share, we care, we move , we stop, we cry, we smile… for everything that we get and tend to fail to realize one thing..that what passes by once will never come back…the words said, the actions done….get embedded in your life like a part of some tattered pages in an old history book….and fail to realize that in our effort to look for more (more better) we miss out on what we have in front of us …this very moment.
Monday, July 7, 2008
dry crayon and water...
I know I know...not as much as flaunting about....but hell that's my creation made over a weekend!!!Friday, July 4, 2008
an intriguing thought....
"Direction is more important than speed,we are so busy looking at our speedometers that we forget the milestone!"
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
numbers numbers numbers
....................phew!!!!
numbers, numbers and more numbers;they baffle me and they make me go crazy... :P
and I hate them from the bottom of my heart.
I have never been comfortable working with numbers. As a student I have barely managed to get passing grades in mathematics and anything to do with numbers (except that I am surprisingly good with statistics!)
Thinking of the school times...I can still recollect the discomfort I had with math papers :) I was (and still am) a wreck with multiplication and division....eeew. I use to always feel that subjects like mathematics in school are only to harass kids ....hehe. [strange for a fact that my mother is an absolute human computer and can churn numbers to simple answers in no time!!]
Still remember in 5th grade I had a red mark on my report card next to mathematics hehehe...Good I could score better after that (atleast the pass marks).
Well...thanking all the teachers who taught me maths (atleast I know simple addition now...the rest can be taken care of by computers and calculators!!!)
numbers, numbers and more numbers;they baffle me and they make me go crazy... :P
and I hate them from the bottom of my heart.
I have never been comfortable working with numbers. As a student I have barely managed to get passing grades in mathematics and anything to do with numbers (except that I am surprisingly good with statistics!)
Thinking of the school times...I can still recollect the discomfort I had with math papers :) I was (and still am) a wreck with multiplication and division....eeew. I use to always feel that subjects like mathematics in school are only to harass kids ....hehe. [strange for a fact that my mother is an absolute human computer and can churn numbers to simple answers in no time!!]
Still remember in 5th grade I had a red mark on my report card next to mathematics hehehe...Good I could score better after that (atleast the pass marks).
Well...thanking all the teachers who taught me maths (atleast I know simple addition now...the rest can be taken care of by computers and calculators!!!)
Monday, June 30, 2008
echoes....................
Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.
And no-one called us to the land
And no-one knows the wheres or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb towards the light
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can
And no-one calls us to move on
And no-one forces down our eyes
And no-one speaks and no-one tries
And no-one flies around the sun
Cloudless everyday you fall upon my waking eyes
inciting and inviting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning
And no-one sings me lullabies
And no-one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.
And no-one called us to the land
And no-one knows the wheres or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb towards the light
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can
And no-one calls us to move on
And no-one forces down our eyes
And no-one speaks and no-one tries
And no-one flies around the sun
Cloudless everyday you fall upon my waking eyes
inciting and inviting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning
And no-one sings me lullabies
And no-one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky
……wow!!!
These are the lyrics from the song Echoes – Pink Floyd…(I listen to it almost every day…and today I am stuck to this song….have already heard more than 10 times :P…..!!!)
This is one of the amazing compilations from Pink Floyd (if you are not into their music, you perhaps will not understand anything of it and might turn of the music on the first note!!!). But, if you love music….this is something that will get into you right through :)
Oh btw…there’s lot more to the compilation that just these so-superficially-incomprehensible-words…….!!!!
My foot is twisted again :P
I fell off from the bed today morning (and I have no Idea how that happened!!). My already-once-broken-foot is twited again....aoooowww!!!…it hurts!!!
Relax.....the weekends are meant for it!!!
“Relax”……that was one thing I was missing since quite some time and this weekend gave me an opportunity to relax and unwind.
Saturday work was not as impressive and fruitful…a good bunch of candidates dropped out of the interview schedules (thanks to the rains…). But this did waste a major chunk of my Saturday boo-hoo-hoo.
Evening was a usual trip to Coffee Day, a short hault at a friend’s place (with aroma of bacon filling the air!! Yumm…but I could not eat…I am a strict vegetarian for Saturdays!!!) Reached home early, thought that could be a good surprise for mommy dear (and so it was). Surprise for me too…Dad was cooking one of his experimental dishes :P (incidentally turned out good….and it was full family at dinner after quite long…)
Sunday…the usual get-up-late-laze-on-the-bed-day : ) Sunday’s are brunch days…so we had some good breakfast my sister prepared. Lot of Sunday TV..cartoons, Smash Labs on discovery…some crap music (I call it crap because I did not like it! ) and pooooooof….the power failure. Hit the spa…had some nice aroma therapy done…feels good now (yet my hair is all the same whacky!)
Hmmm..I made a promise to myself…that I’d hit the spa every fortnight now :P
Saturday work was not as impressive and fruitful…a good bunch of candidates dropped out of the interview schedules (thanks to the rains…). But this did waste a major chunk of my Saturday boo-hoo-hoo.
Evening was a usual trip to Coffee Day, a short hault at a friend’s place (with aroma of bacon filling the air!! Yumm…but I could not eat…I am a strict vegetarian for Saturdays!!!) Reached home early, thought that could be a good surprise for mommy dear (and so it was). Surprise for me too…Dad was cooking one of his experimental dishes :P (incidentally turned out good….and it was full family at dinner after quite long…)
Sunday…the usual get-up-late-laze-on-the-bed-day : ) Sunday’s are brunch days…so we had some good breakfast my sister prepared. Lot of Sunday TV..cartoons, Smash Labs on discovery…some crap music (I call it crap because I did not like it! ) and pooooooof….the power failure. Hit the spa…had some nice aroma therapy done…feels good now (yet my hair is all the same whacky!)
Hmmm..I made a promise to myself…that I’d hit the spa every fortnight now :P
Friday, June 27, 2008
a weird dream..(a nightmare!!)
I woke up today morning…with my heart beating fast and loud…and I was crying….It was this strange dream I head early morning today that really left me exhausted and baffled. (I am a believer of all sorts of occult sciences and have a strong belief on presence of the so called “life beyond our perceived life”)
It was this dream that really pertified me to the core today. In my dream I felt my younger sister missing….(missing as in sense of being dead and not around). The feeling of her absence was so huge that thinking of it…I still shudder! Weird… I was crying (in my dream) and praying and hoping this was not true….Strange as it may sound…I woke up with some sounds (for real sounds from the kitchen)…only to find that what I just saw was only a dream….a nightmare rather….Seeing my younger sister sleep in peace was really relaxing….and tears kept rolling down until I could gather myself again and thank life for being good.
It was this dream that really pertified me to the core today. In my dream I felt my younger sister missing….(missing as in sense of being dead and not around). The feeling of her absence was so huge that thinking of it…I still shudder! Weird… I was crying (in my dream) and praying and hoping this was not true….Strange as it may sound…I woke up with some sounds (for real sounds from the kitchen)…only to find that what I just saw was only a dream….a nightmare rather….Seeing my younger sister sleep in peace was really relaxing….and tears kept rolling down until I could gather myself again and thank life for being good.
what goes around comes back around ....
"If what goes around, comes back around.
...and we have to be always moving ahead in life...
but since what goes around comes back around...are'nt we actually moving ahead only in a circle ?!
A viscious circle??!!"
hmmm..intriguing reality of life??!
...and we have to be always moving ahead in life...
but since what goes around comes back around...are'nt we actually moving ahead only in a circle ?!
A viscious circle??!!"
hmmm..intriguing reality of life??!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Hindi attempts!!
आज हम कुछ हिन्दी में लिखने का प्रयत्न कर रहे हैं । वैसे अगर आप हिन्दी पढ़ना नही जानते तो यह आपकी समस्या है, हमारी नही।
खैर हम तो गुस्ताखी करने से बाज आयेंगे नही, और न ही हमें कोई परवाह है की कोई पढ़ पा रहा है या नही!!
कोशिश कर रहे हैं कुछ लिखने की....
"दिल की गहरायी से होकर इक रास्ता गुजरता है,
खामोश इन निगाहों में भी मकाम किसीका रहता है,
याद अगर आपको नही हैं हम, कोई गम नही इसका हमें,
जालिमों को भी दिल लगी करने का हक है, हर कतरा लहू का हमारे येही कहता है "
हम्म.... देखने में तो खूब है...!!!
खैर हम तो गुस्ताखी करने से बाज आयेंगे नही, और न ही हमें कोई परवाह है की कोई पढ़ पा रहा है या नही!!
कोशिश कर रहे हैं कुछ लिखने की....
"दिल की गहरायी से होकर इक रास्ता गुजरता है,
खामोश इन निगाहों में भी मकाम किसीका रहता है,
याद अगर आपको नही हैं हम, कोई गम नही इसका हमें,
जालिमों को भी दिल लगी करने का हक है, हर कतरा लहू का हमारे येही कहता है "
हम्म.... देखने में तो खूब है...!!!
estranged
I remember the time when I could see,
In the mirror a true reflection of me
It seemed, then the clock ticked slow
We cherished every moment …whether sun or snow
I sometimes wonder how things have changed
from our very selves, how we get estranged
the insatiable quest, that drives us mad
to get something we don’t have,
we forget all that we have ever had
In search of engilded treasures, we dig into the ground,
Turn every stone, not stopping,Until we have found
The clock keeps ticking until we are too old,
We look back at time, and realize..What we found was never gold
What went by as numbers was not just age,
The things that are lost are so difficult to gauge
Now when, I see the mirror
Staring back is some stranger,
There are so many questions in those eyes
Questions that ask how….what and why?
In the mirror a true reflection of me
It seemed, then the clock ticked slow
We cherished every moment …whether sun or snow
I sometimes wonder how things have changed
from our very selves, how we get estranged
the insatiable quest, that drives us mad
to get something we don’t have,
we forget all that we have ever had
In search of engilded treasures, we dig into the ground,
Turn every stone, not stopping,Until we have found
The clock keeps ticking until we are too old,
We look back at time, and realize..What we found was never gold
What went by as numbers was not just age,
The things that are lost are so difficult to gauge
Now when, I see the mirror
Staring back is some stranger,
There are so many questions in those eyes
Questions that ask how….what and why?
Rain...
It’s raining……… : ) yipeeeee!!! [it’s been a dry spell in the city for about a week, with little rainfall)
Sad that I have to be sitting and slogging in office. Boo-hoo-hoo : (
The weather has been pleasant since morning. Had been out to get some money taken out from the bank…and I literally felt like running away to some sweeeeeeeet place …..but then… WORK! Damn! I don’t understand why we work so hard…so hard that we forget to enjoy the little moments of joy. Or even if we try to…we don’t ever have the time..?
Wouldn’t it be beautiful…if one could work from some place, set amidst some lush green nature painted place, a verandah…the rain falling, the skies covered clouds so dense that could be used for kohl…. Wouldn’t it be great to be away from everything, but still be connected to world around you…use the modern technology to be connected (that will not make one feel guilty about missing work or missing out the beauty of nature! ) Even better…give live updates to your friends over Instant messengers of how beautiful the weather is when they sit and slog in office!!! LOLz.
Oucccch!! Getting back to reality…I am stuck in office working (?!) and missing the rain….Heaven save me :)
Sad that I have to be sitting and slogging in office. Boo-hoo-hoo : (
The weather has been pleasant since morning. Had been out to get some money taken out from the bank…and I literally felt like running away to some sweeeeeeeet place …..but then… WORK! Damn! I don’t understand why we work so hard…so hard that we forget to enjoy the little moments of joy. Or even if we try to…we don’t ever have the time..?
Wouldn’t it be beautiful…if one could work from some place, set amidst some lush green nature painted place, a verandah…the rain falling, the skies covered clouds so dense that could be used for kohl…. Wouldn’t it be great to be away from everything, but still be connected to world around you…use the modern technology to be connected (that will not make one feel guilty about missing work or missing out the beauty of nature! ) Even better…give live updates to your friends over Instant messengers of how beautiful the weather is when they sit and slog in office!!! LOLz.
Oucccch!! Getting back to reality…I am stuck in office working (?!) and missing the rain….Heaven save me :)
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
watzz the Joke!!!
The time seemed to be moving at a snail speed today every time I saw the clock I kept wondering… “huh! That’s all the time passed by since I last saw the clock?!
Either, I worked too much (or did not work at all) today. All said and done, the day has been reasonably rewarding with quite a few accomplishments.
Achievement: I kept my head from blowing off today!! (Not a bad start considering my temper which has been going bonkers lately!)
While wondering what to do, I just came across a couple of good jokes which made me laugh my heart out. Like they say..." one thing leads to the other".... I have just set up a another blog where I will keep posting all the funny quips, jokes, forward emails, funny pix etc that I keep receiving.
They say laughter is the best medicine..and I am building my “first aid blog”. Here’s the link : http://watzzdjoke.blogspot.com/
A few to start with will keep posting more!! Enjoy!!!
Either, I worked too much (or did not work at all) today. All said and done, the day has been reasonably rewarding with quite a few accomplishments.
Achievement: I kept my head from blowing off today!! (Not a bad start considering my temper which has been going bonkers lately!)
While wondering what to do, I just came across a couple of good jokes which made me laugh my heart out. Like they say..." one thing leads to the other".... I have just set up a another blog where I will keep posting all the funny quips, jokes, forward emails, funny pix etc that I keep receiving.
They say laughter is the best medicine..and I am building my “first aid blog”. Here’s the link : http://watzzdjoke.blogspot.com/
A few to start with will keep posting more!! Enjoy!!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
topper bloopers....
Now if I don’t speak out my mind right now…I sure will let the anger build and if it comes out…I don’t know who I would kill (I am already running out of place to hide bodies…I mean the dead ones!)
I love working…working at my own pace and in my own style and I have my own ways of getting things done (and mind you they work! ) because if I wouldn’t, I would not be sitting where I am today…
I know I am intelligent...well may be not as much as those MENSA nerds, but hey! there definitely is something about my work that keeps the clocks ticking?!
(May be I am sounding “a-know-it-all-hyper-over-active-overconfident-creep” but hell! Everyone thinks that way….even if remotely in the back of their head…and in the most subconscious manner! )
I sometimes wonder if people can really be so bugging / irritating or they just pretend to be so?! It’s strange that we always find some top notch idiots sitting on top!
I hate it when people who really don’t know anything about my area of work telling me what’s best to do. I hate that unsubscribed piece of advice (read S**t). Just because one possesses the power to make a final call doesn’t mean that he/she has to exercise it all the time?! (With no logical reasoning?!)
I encourage collaborative thinking and decision making (well not to the extent that nothing gets done…sometimes one just has to put a foot down strong and firm and say a big damned NO!).
I hate being bossed around (ask those who’ve ever tried…and ask my Dad!) I hate being told what to do…! Its like if I have taken on to do something, I sure will finish it in my way. If you want to stand and instruct….Oh well! Leave me alone to myself and if you genuinely want to help, I will more than glad to accommodate (even the silliest of your requests!)
As I often say…“it’s not what you speak…it’s how you speak that matters”. (And those who don’t understand this…well…keep yourself away from me!)
I love working…working at my own pace and in my own style and I have my own ways of getting things done (and mind you they work! ) because if I wouldn’t, I would not be sitting where I am today…
I know I am intelligent...well may be not as much as those MENSA nerds, but hey! there definitely is something about my work that keeps the clocks ticking?!
(May be I am sounding “a-know-it-all-hyper-over-active-overconfident-creep” but hell! Everyone thinks that way….even if remotely in the back of their head…and in the most subconscious manner! )
I sometimes wonder if people can really be so bugging / irritating or they just pretend to be so?! It’s strange that we always find some top notch idiots sitting on top!
I hate it when people who really don’t know anything about my area of work telling me what’s best to do. I hate that unsubscribed piece of advice (read S**t). Just because one possesses the power to make a final call doesn’t mean that he/she has to exercise it all the time?! (With no logical reasoning?!)
I encourage collaborative thinking and decision making (well not to the extent that nothing gets done…sometimes one just has to put a foot down strong and firm and say a big damned NO!).
I hate being bossed around (ask those who’ve ever tried…and ask my Dad!) I hate being told what to do…! Its like if I have taken on to do something, I sure will finish it in my way. If you want to stand and instruct….Oh well! Leave me alone to myself and if you genuinely want to help, I will more than glad to accommodate (even the silliest of your requests!)
As I often say…“it’s not what you speak…it’s how you speak that matters”. (And those who don’t understand this…well…keep yourself away from me!)
The annual Ritual....Drive Mulshi!!!
Well well well…after a long time I really got a good part of Saturday to myself! Work wound up by mid noon and the weather was pleasant…and nothing better than Mulshi for a pleasant and calm evening, especially when one wants’ to connect with inner self.
It’s almost been a ritual for the last few years (with an exception of last year!) The drive down to Mulshi. About 50 Kms from Pune, could be tiring if you go on bikes…but that’s fun! (Yes It’s nice to have a car, but then you would not enjoy the rain drops throughout the drive!)
The rain brings about the best of this place in its splendid beauty. Surrounded by lush greenery around, a lake (that happens to he the reservoir of the Mulshi Dam). It sure is a place to be.
If you are in love….and don’t know how to express it to your sweetheart/heartthrob, take him/her here and speak you mind .
It’s almost been a ritual for the last few years (with an exception of last year!) The drive down to Mulshi. About 50 Kms from Pune, could be tiring if you go on bikes…but that’s fun! (Yes It’s nice to have a car, but then you would not enjoy the rain drops throughout the drive!)
The rain brings about the best of this place in its splendid beauty. Surrounded by lush greenery around, a lake (that happens to he the reservoir of the Mulshi Dam). It sure is a place to be.
If you are in love….and don’t know how to express it to your sweetheart/heartthrob, take him/her here and speak you mind .
Think of a heaven..this is it!!! Well quite literally “Café Paradise” is the place you should be heading for.
For me it is more of a place that I feel so connected to myself and so close to nature. Sit and relax (of course I broke my 15 day long Sabbath from Beer!) It was a beautiful evening out there…looking forward to drive again …may be this weekend!
For me it is more of a place that I feel so connected to myself and so close to nature. Sit and relax (of course I broke my 15 day long Sabbath from Beer!) It was a beautiful evening out there…looking forward to drive again …may be this weekend!
Friday, June 20, 2008
an old photograph....
No no no…I haven’t stopped blogging.
My computer is heavily infected with well you know what….some kind of viruses (only if they were visible bugs I would have squished them…grrrr). Brighter side, the computer not working means I go to bed early and sleep for a good 8 hours : ).
Woke up today with a catch in my left side rendering me almost paralyzed for a few hours (and that of course meant I took a few hours off office today morning). While I was home sorting some old files of mine, I came across something I had long forgotten….some old photographs of mine …shame I have bloated big time since then : ( It was nice to see a face that once looked really so innocent….(now it looks like I am in on an eternal drive to kill. )
How time flies by....was such a free bird then with nothing to worry about...not that I have hell log of worries now...but the tag of being "responsible" (at work.... for heading HR and being the eldest daughter in the family does take a toll in some ways)
Am doing all that I once wanted to do...expecting to be happier than I was then, but the happiness seems to be always a step further. Perhaps to help you be a better person...and to help you understand one thing "love life...aprreciate being alive....its too short to worry and cry!"
ooouch! something just reminded me of the catch ....pain killers anyone??!!!
My computer is heavily infected with well you know what….some kind of viruses (only if they were visible bugs I would have squished them…grrrr). Brighter side, the computer not working means I go to bed early and sleep for a good 8 hours : ).
Woke up today with a catch in my left side rendering me almost paralyzed for a few hours (and that of course meant I took a few hours off office today morning). While I was home sorting some old files of mine, I came across something I had long forgotten….some old photographs of mine …shame I have bloated big time since then : ( It was nice to see a face that once looked really so innocent….(now it looks like I am in on an eternal drive to kill. )
How time flies by....was such a free bird then with nothing to worry about...not that I have hell log of worries now...but the tag of being "responsible" (at work.... for heading HR and being the eldest daughter in the family does take a toll in some ways)
Am doing all that I once wanted to do...expecting to be happier than I was then, but the happiness seems to be always a step further. Perhaps to help you be a better person...and to help you understand one thing "love life...aprreciate being alive....its too short to worry and cry!"
ooouch! something just reminded me of the catch ....pain killers anyone??!!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
health check....(God's want me to do it too!!!)
Funny....this is what my horoscope for the day read
"Today in the realm of your health you should put some practices in place that will afford you long-term health. Focus on health maintenance practices like yoga and meditation instead of get-fit-quick schemes like dieting. Your energy level and your sense of well-being will rise steadily over time and you will be much less likely to quit your fitness and healthy eating regimen if you choose a slow and steady path."
.....hmmm!!!!
"Today in the realm of your health you should put some practices in place that will afford you long-term health. Focus on health maintenance practices like yoga and meditation instead of get-fit-quick schemes like dieting. Your energy level and your sense of well-being will rise steadily over time and you will be much less likely to quit your fitness and healthy eating regimen if you choose a slow and steady path."
.....hmmm!!!!
creative bug bites....!
My creative bug bit me after a loooooooong time today....I know it is'nt impressive :) but folks apreciate the concept !!! :D :Dphew!
Phew!!
That was a long day....and to be honest I am exhausted..and kind of a little too sleepy while I am trying to write. (yawn)
I sometimes wonder if my brain cells are retarted :) they just seem to be taking ages to register information....and sometimes the same brain cells act like psychotics and do things like there's no tommorow :)
[does anyone know of a vaccum cleaning device to clear clutter off your brain...? If you do please let me know where I can find one!]
That was a long day....and to be honest I am exhausted..and kind of a little too sleepy while I am trying to write. (yawn)
I sometimes wonder if my brain cells are retarted :) they just seem to be taking ages to register information....and sometimes the same brain cells act like psychotics and do things like there's no tommorow :)
[does anyone know of a vaccum cleaning device to clear clutter off your brain...? If you do please let me know where I can find one!]
Monday, June 16, 2008
a few flowers more on the cactus :)
I got up from the wrong side of my bed today (not quite literally!!)
Had planned to take half a day off from work...get some pending things fixed ....go to the doctor, go to the Gym, Go to the dentist, Get a haircut....but then....hehehehe :D I ended up being in office.
Had a few opportunities to play "Katbert" at work...you wont believe it, I have started enjoying being a little too nasty ;)...well...all this comes as a part of my work! But I am not obscenely mean to people ;) I just settle things right...!The way they are expected to be :)
But then there was something playing on my head...i had planned a few things for the day and something had to be done....the only thing that I really wanted to do was go have my hair chopped (well of course not to the extent of "me" being chopped off by mommy dear later!)
Feels good now ( I feel 250 gms lighter!) How nice!!! first step towards healthy weight loss :D..hehe the haircut's done atleast...the doctors and dentists can wait!! I dont need them....
well..another noticeable achievement ....NO booze in the last 7 days!!! and guess what's replacing the usually occuring "beer pangs"....good hot "cafe mocha" at Coffee Day...thanks to the beautiful weather!!! Mmmmmmmmmmuah! :) the rains....
Had planned to take half a day off from work...get some pending things fixed ....go to the doctor, go to the Gym, Go to the dentist, Get a haircut....but then....hehehehe :D I ended up being in office.
Had a few opportunities to play "Katbert" at work...you wont believe it, I have started enjoying being a little too nasty ;)...well...all this comes as a part of my work! But I am not obscenely mean to people ;) I just settle things right...!The way they are expected to be :)
But then there was something playing on my head...i had planned a few things for the day and something had to be done....the only thing that I really wanted to do was go have my hair chopped (well of course not to the extent of "me" being chopped off by mommy dear later!)
Feels good now ( I feel 250 gms lighter!) How nice!!! first step towards healthy weight loss :D..hehe the haircut's done atleast...the doctors and dentists can wait!! I dont need them....
well..another noticeable achievement ....NO booze in the last 7 days!!! and guess what's replacing the usually occuring "beer pangs"....good hot "cafe mocha" at Coffee Day...thanks to the beautiful weather!!! Mmmmmmmmmmuah! :) the rains....
Sunday, June 15, 2008
rain drive....!
Now...this weekend was by far one of the best ones that i've had in recent times:). Although I slogged through saturday...the evening was marvellous.
I drove all the way 25 km to one of my favourite places "UP and Above"....the place surely makes sense to the name...though it aint as up as the display board says...the place is sure worth a visit for all those who love rains :)
It was this sudden-out-of-the-blue-wandered-mind-impulse-O-mine. I was at a Coffee Day near office when it started drizzling...sippin Darjeeling tea....wow! Heaven :) But considering the fact that I had time, I love rains, I have a bike that's reasonably loyal(does'nt breakdown at odd times) and ofcourse a good old windcheater...just in case the rain gets too harsh...and a helmet...there's nothing that can stop me :) from venturing out!
So I kicked off and went cutting through the mad traffic of the city....all this while the rain kept on falling as if speaking my mind. By the time I reached Up and above..i was drenched, but what a lovely drive...worth it. Sitting atop on the terrace at Up & above, hot soup and some nice paneer pakodas.....yumm yumm...you could see the half the city...the evening lights starting to glimmer slowly, rain subsiding and mad rush of traffic on the roads changing into beautiful specks of red and yellows...wonderful!!!
Well was'nt too long before I started my journey back....(you bet after getting drenched and almost drying....and venturing out again was good enough to send shivers down my spine...!!ggggritting my teeth...but hell! what a wonderful time I had!!!)
....ah ah ah...I was'nt alone :) I had company of one of my closest pals! Thank you dost :)
Friday, June 13, 2008
I need a break!!!
Something is just not right with me today (I know that’s nothing new with me!). The day today, seems to be passing really slow…time has stretched itself way too much. My body is exhausted like I am just thrown out of the kick boxing ring like a sad contestant who did not know the tricks of the trade. My energy levels today have hit the lowest of all in the recent times.
I am not sad per se, but it’s that ill feeling that I am getting, which I don’t like…like something is going to go wrong somewhere and perhaps I am not even aware or haven’t even contemplated that it could go wrong. May be because work has been to stressful lately and things seem to be cramming up for no rhyme or reason. No matter what I am trying to do cheer myself up it’s not helping. Perhaps because it been really long that I spent some time alone…all to myself (I don’t really remember when was the last time that I really did that…guess it was in June, last year, when I was at coorg, what a lovely getaway that was…)
How I wish that I get a really good break (a damn good break from work and everything else that seems to bother me!). Just want to shut my brain off. I feel like going for a nice holiday, amidst some lush green place, a lake a cottage to myself and rain …… I would love to let rain soak me through my soul…wash off the impacts of the recent events that have taken place.
I’ve actually dragged myself through the day.
All I can think of now is……..UNWIND!!!!
I am not sad per se, but it’s that ill feeling that I am getting, which I don’t like…like something is going to go wrong somewhere and perhaps I am not even aware or haven’t even contemplated that it could go wrong. May be because work has been to stressful lately and things seem to be cramming up for no rhyme or reason. No matter what I am trying to do cheer myself up it’s not helping. Perhaps because it been really long that I spent some time alone…all to myself (I don’t really remember when was the last time that I really did that…guess it was in June, last year, when I was at coorg, what a lovely getaway that was…)
How I wish that I get a really good break (a damn good break from work and everything else that seems to bother me!). Just want to shut my brain off. I feel like going for a nice holiday, amidst some lush green place, a lake a cottage to myself and rain …… I would love to let rain soak me through my soul…wash off the impacts of the recent events that have taken place.
I’ve actually dragged myself through the day.
All I can think of now is……..UNWIND!!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Thank you life!
I got up late (again!!) I sometimes dont understand why on the earth, i do not get sleep at night (quite pertinent, from the time that i post my blogs!) And morning getting out of the bed is much more difficult than toughest thing on this earth :(
But I blame it on the sedentary lifestyle we live...everything right from the food we eat, to the way we do and anything and everything in life....(hell! I am not cribbing, just trying to rub in that there are a few things we need to watch out as well, inspite of all the goodness!!)
Work...work...work...and more work....(ok ok...I know it aint as bad....but it does leave me exhausted at the end of the day).
But two things in today's day....were like those lil lovely flowers on the cactus....
First: A cell phone beep, a text message, "baby needs A-ve blood, pass on the msg to who ever you can.." . Those who really cared, shared the msg with everyone they knew!!![wonderful! I am sure someone surely might have been able to save this little life by giving a tiny bit of blood!...Thank you modern technology...thankyou cellular communication]
Second: I have been missing my dear friend (my childhood friend); now married and a proud mum to be (God bless her!)...caught me online after sooooooooooooo long....we caught up online chatted like we were sitting across the table like good old times....a lil leg pulling, a lil jokes...and then back to work. [well as a matter of fact, she's in London....and I am in pune, i wonder if we did not have modern communication available...i would be just thinking about her.!]
Inspite of the crazyness around work...a few lil things that make you feel "good" about life :)
But I blame it on the sedentary lifestyle we live...everything right from the food we eat, to the way we do and anything and everything in life....(hell! I am not cribbing, just trying to rub in that there are a few things we need to watch out as well, inspite of all the goodness!!)
Work...work...work...and more work....(ok ok...I know it aint as bad....but it does leave me exhausted at the end of the day).
But two things in today's day....were like those lil lovely flowers on the cactus....
First: A cell phone beep, a text message, "baby needs A-ve blood, pass on the msg to who ever you can.." . Those who really cared, shared the msg with everyone they knew!!![wonderful! I am sure someone surely might have been able to save this little life by giving a tiny bit of blood!...Thank you modern technology...thankyou cellular communication]
Second: I have been missing my dear friend (my childhood friend); now married and a proud mum to be (God bless her!)...caught me online after sooooooooooooo long....we caught up online chatted like we were sitting across the table like good old times....a lil leg pulling, a lil jokes...and then back to work. [well as a matter of fact, she's in London....and I am in pune, i wonder if we did not have modern communication available...i would be just thinking about her.!]
Inspite of the crazyness around work...a few lil things that make you feel "good" about life :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
...hate being in this profession!
Scrambled.............................I am just out of my wits today.I hate it so much!!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Reality ?
Well well, I know lately I have been sounding either too philosophical or sometimes so downright depressed that if a dead man could read my blog even he would prefer to die rather than read what I write....LOLz (I know if you are reading this you might be wondering if I am out of my wits)I am trying to rearrange my mind that keeps wandering ....it jumps, skips, gallops a thousand miles...roams around the world even before you could say the word "think" aloud ...its not only my mind that has this capability....everyone's mind has this superpower....of being where you are actually not!. Strange..?! Think again.....
We talk of being "physically present and being mentally absent".....how about giving "Mentally present and physically absent" a thought. Sounds creepy eh?
Something out of occult scriptures? Paganistic.....or even sci-fi like ?
I was once reading something that intrigued my mind (to an extent that I even believe it!!) ...Ever wonder how you move from your world (reality) to a world of sleep...oblivious to what you believe and perceive is true? and as you go deep into your sleep, this "perceived real world" is left far behind....and you enter something known as "dreams" (unreal?!) to us. But is'nt it for that very time while we travel in this so called "unreal" world becomes real? You live in it, experiencing everything that you experience in the so called "real" world ?
Confusing as it sounds....think about it again....the return from the dreamworld to the real world too is so mythically strange!
How do we know what of these is real? What we believe is just what we were told to.....because we were told to believe it.....Can we dare to challenge this reality ?!!!
Oh by the way...I am listening to "voice of enigma".... :D
LOLz....!!!! (Nah I am not yet possessed!)
Rise again Phoenix
Of course there are days when one feels much light hearted than other days, Inspite of the events of the earlier day(s) and then there are other days that make you feel much bluer as well. And well there are times that you really can’t make out if you ought to be sad or merry…for things at hand the situations that face you look deeply grim at the onset, but you know they will result in a creation of something better…not immediate, but definitely lead to something constructive.
A very good friend of mine taught me “actions speak louder than words” and that… “all actions have consequences”. I see it today. Some of my actions and some words in the past seemed to be intended to build something….but an ultimate impact was…in the long run sheer destruction! It is not always that being good to someone helps always…instead it could lead to creation of something that you might despise one day.
It helps to be tough…at times it could break the person momentarily leave him/her to start feeling worthless and in a lower self-esteem and even lead to resentment against someone who’s been tough on them. All for a good cause….
There’s a phoenix like energy in every being…every living being who wishes to live and hopes to be better….if you really love being alive and respect the fact that you have something that is most precious, you will one day rise again from your own ashes…and flare and blaze so bright that it will leave you in awe with the thought that you have the energy in you that you never saw!
Life is a rollercoaster…and takes you through hell before you die….but its up to you to see where your stand…what you want to be….
I am a phoenix…are you?
A very good friend of mine taught me “actions speak louder than words” and that… “all actions have consequences”. I see it today. Some of my actions and some words in the past seemed to be intended to build something….but an ultimate impact was…in the long run sheer destruction! It is not always that being good to someone helps always…instead it could lead to creation of something that you might despise one day.
It helps to be tough…at times it could break the person momentarily leave him/her to start feeling worthless and in a lower self-esteem and even lead to resentment against someone who’s been tough on them. All for a good cause….
There’s a phoenix like energy in every being…every living being who wishes to live and hopes to be better….if you really love being alive and respect the fact that you have something that is most precious, you will one day rise again from your own ashes…and flare and blaze so bright that it will leave you in awe with the thought that you have the energy in you that you never saw!
Life is a rollercoaster…and takes you through hell before you die….but its up to you to see where your stand…what you want to be….
I am a phoenix…are you?
Monday, June 9, 2008
In pursuit of Peace
Of all my fears the one that has been worrying me the most , and has been bothering me…eating me, inch after inch…sucking the very life out of me like a leech, came true today. I was scared and always felt that I am not prepared to face the fear in anyway…there was a point in my life that I would have chosen death over facing this fear of mine.
The fear came face to face with me…right here in front of me, and I faced it. How I dealt with it is different story, but seeing it happen was far more gruesome than I thought it to be…anger, rage, volatility, violence, fear, tears sadness…resentment all at once, dead on face to face.
I wonder why I did not face it earlier, it would have saved many lives, it would have not jeopardized the very existence of some…it would have not perplexed the situation of the life that I am living and of those around me…
Nonetheless, I still have a long time, before I really see peace in its full form…. Or will I ever see Peace?
The fear came face to face with me…right here in front of me, and I faced it. How I dealt with it is different story, but seeing it happen was far more gruesome than I thought it to be…anger, rage, volatility, violence, fear, tears sadness…resentment all at once, dead on face to face.
I wonder why I did not face it earlier, it would have saved many lives, it would have not jeopardized the very existence of some…it would have not perplexed the situation of the life that I am living and of those around me…
Nonetheless, I still have a long time, before I really see peace in its full form…. Or will I ever see Peace?
Ruthless.....
My limbs seem to have stopped obeying me. A feeling so heavy that perhaps lead would be lighter to carry than carrying myself…and a ruthless heart, a tainted soul, a scrambled mind all within me. I feel I am dragging myself, every step... is becoming increasingly difficult to put forth, breath seems to have tuned into a noxious matter that perhaps will kill all that comes in my way.
I am fed up with the way I have been dealing with life, more so infuriated with the way people tell me how to live my life!
I want to break free of this anger and rage that keeps me bound with myself…It’s just like being wrapped in a card board box that has used barbed wires to keep the contents safe, it does protect from the outside, but inside the sharp edges go deep within cutting through the cardboard, hurting what lies inside…a soul that bleeds and wails to be set free…..
I am fed up with the way I have been dealing with life, more so infuriated with the way people tell me how to live my life!
I want to break free of this anger and rage that keeps me bound with myself…It’s just like being wrapped in a card board box that has used barbed wires to keep the contents safe, it does protect from the outside, but inside the sharp edges go deep within cutting through the cardboard, hurting what lies inside…a soul that bleeds and wails to be set free…..
Friday, June 6, 2008
maddy........
weeeeeeeeeekend.... :D
well..my sincere apologies if my words and phrases dont make sense in this post..i am a little tooo drunk :P
or may be I am going mad :P..so dont want to be blabbering not-so-sensible contents today :P
well..my sincere apologies if my words and phrases dont make sense in this post..i am a little tooo drunk :P
or may be I am going mad :P..so dont want to be blabbering not-so-sensible contents today :P
Thursday, June 5, 2008
on a day like today
The morning sky was beautiful today....perfectly sunny, bright blue skies with some pure white cotton candy like specs of clouds scattered around.Last two days of rains washed away dust off everything around...making everything look cleaner, brighter and yes...greener :)
The day ahead looked to be pleasant...I was glee and looking forward to a great day at work too! But as the day passed ahead, something that I still cannot put my finger on started bothering me...the jitteriness, the irritability...I just wanted to go thrash someone!!! [No no..it ain't the PMS]. Perhaps it's the lack of sleep ....or may be some unknown incomprehensible subconcious information processing activity taking place in my brain.
It just seemed like the heavens were imitating me...the clear skies were getting filled with some dark clouds...no thunder..but a stillness in the air taking over...although the temperatures dropped down and it was not as humid...the pleasing feel seemed to have dissappeared....some kind of anger..some kind of rage taking over......its just incomprehensible atleast so far....
While i still try make sense of what's been bothering me throughout the day.....there's a song that's playing in my head..."nothing else matters.....metallica and symphony"
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Bikes's back...and so is the rain :)
So I finally got my bike working...had lost keys a couple of days ago.... :P .
I was all happy that I don't have to depend anymore on the those tiny lil three wheeled yellow-black monsters. But as they say...things seldom go the way you plan'em to go.
I got out of my house went to the parking... turned on the ignition key and tried to start...once, twice, thrice......damn! the Bike would'nt budge....since it din't repond..I started kicking it ..(hehe) literally..Kickstarting it...Guess my bike missed me a lot all these days ...it kicked me back!!!! LOLz
Phew!!! This bike has gone really crazy ....well so it did start a few attempts later
...another halt at the fuel station (the fuel crisis is'nt over yet). Yesterday's rain was good yesterday, but morning sun was too harsh,to top it up humid.So I was kinda sweating my brain out under the helmet...waiting to refuel (getting furious at some people who jumped queues and were literally hoarding fuel!!! ...........morons!!!).
Saving: My sweet lil ipod...atleast I dont hear the noise around...just plain damn good music... Pink Floyd it was...the ride to office felt pleasant ....the rain drenched vegetation, and slightly mucky roads...the begining of monsoon...
Work today was just about normal...except for one thing...I cleant up my desk and the cubicle storage...just to make space for more stuff :) It rained today too.....the weather's turning pleasant by the day...i hope the rains are'nt harsh this year. Evening...was kinda a quiet time at Coffee day. ...Aaah this weather...its so sooothing...!
I was all happy that I don't have to depend anymore on the those tiny lil three wheeled yellow-black monsters. But as they say...things seldom go the way you plan'em to go.
I got out of my house went to the parking... turned on the ignition key and tried to start...once, twice, thrice......damn! the Bike would'nt budge....since it din't repond..I started kicking it ..(hehe) literally..Kickstarting it...Guess my bike missed me a lot all these days ...it kicked me back!!!! LOLz
Phew!!! This bike has gone really crazy ....well so it did start a few attempts later
...another halt at the fuel station (the fuel crisis is'nt over yet). Yesterday's rain was good yesterday, but morning sun was too harsh,to top it up humid.So I was kinda sweating my brain out under the helmet...waiting to refuel (getting furious at some people who jumped queues and were literally hoarding fuel!!! ...........morons!!!).
Saving: My sweet lil ipod...atleast I dont hear the noise around...just plain damn good music... Pink Floyd it was...the ride to office felt pleasant ....the rain drenched vegetation, and slightly mucky roads...the begining of monsoon...
Work today was just about normal...except for one thing...I cleant up my desk and the cubicle storage...just to make space for more stuff :) It rained today too.....the weather's turning pleasant by the day...i hope the rains are'nt harsh this year. Evening...was kinda a quiet time at Coffee day. ...Aaah this weather...its so sooothing...!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Dreamz unlimited
....its almost 2:00 am..i am still awake.doing what..tyring to search some template websites to take an inspiration from...for my website.
And see how my crazy mind works....while i was looking for templates, i kept wondering...how I wish i could design my own site....(not that I cannot...the only difference is I can draw on paper...technically i am atleast 40 below Zero!)
Speaking of it.... it does'nt seem to be a bad idea either ...perhaps i can enroll myself for some training classes that can help me understand on how to go about making websites. (may be I can make some extra money...from web-designing....ok ok..i know too far fetched a leap! :) )
It's strange how we start thinking of one thing...go to the other...and the next and the next...realising there are so many things that we want to do....and we have so less time.
An intriguing question....how we have the drive to live and to dream....when sometimes things just seem to fall apart....we still live. When dreams fall apart...we still dream...what takes us through is only one thing....our belief in our dreams and ourselves...is'nt it ?
Life's short...make the best of it...every moment.
Man!!! too good....I've perked up myself with this pep stuff. So what if I ain't a techie...I can surely attempt my hands on web design...Or can I ?!
And see how my crazy mind works....while i was looking for templates, i kept wondering...how I wish i could design my own site....(not that I cannot...the only difference is I can draw on paper...technically i am atleast 40 below Zero!)
Speaking of it.... it does'nt seem to be a bad idea either ...perhaps i can enroll myself for some training classes that can help me understand on how to go about making websites. (may be I can make some extra money...from web-designing....ok ok..i know too far fetched a leap! :) )
It's strange how we start thinking of one thing...go to the other...and the next and the next...realising there are so many things that we want to do....and we have so less time.
An intriguing question....how we have the drive to live and to dream....when sometimes things just seem to fall apart....we still live. When dreams fall apart...we still dream...what takes us through is only one thing....our belief in our dreams and ourselves...is'nt it ?
Life's short...make the best of it...every moment.
Man!!! too good....I've perked up myself with this pep stuff. So what if I ain't a techie...I can surely attempt my hands on web design...Or can I ?!
season change...
The dark clouds take over the blue sky,
concealing the shining sunthe dust starts rising,blurring the horizon
A sudden stillness, sets uponfar beyond your vision,
something stirs a light tears the heart of the skies,
a thunderclap, and then the voices die....a stillness ....a silence
The darkness deepens,the dust rises high...
withered leaves, that once were green,try to reach the heavens for one last time
tattered, they are but try to rise...a stillness...a silence....
a nostalgic fragrence, engulfs the air,heralding the arrival , that'll end despair....
concealing the shining sunthe dust starts rising,blurring the horizon
A sudden stillness, sets uponfar beyond your vision,
something stirs a light tears the heart of the skies,
a thunderclap, and then the voices die....a stillness ....a silence
The darkness deepens,the dust rises high...
withered leaves, that once were green,try to reach the heavens for one last time
tattered, they are but try to rise...a stillness...a silence....
a nostalgic fragrence, engulfs the air,heralding the arrival , that'll end despair....
first rain..................!!!
drenched...as water drips from my hair....I am sitting in my office chair....after enjoying some time out in the thunder shower...
as i write this...i can still hear the cloud thunder....the weather changed to a pleasant one from what it was in the noon.....
People are telling me...you'd get sick....hell...its this small joy that reminds me of my childhood...getting wet in the rain....see droplets of water straight from heaven....right on to you..
I despise those who stand aside under cover and do not enjoy the first rain......
what a relief :) THe monsoooooooooons are finally here!!!
(gotta get back to work.....and may be a nice cup of garam chai and perhaps some bhajias )
as i write this...i can still hear the cloud thunder....the weather changed to a pleasant one from what it was in the noon.....
People are telling me...you'd get sick....hell...its this small joy that reminds me of my childhood...getting wet in the rain....see droplets of water straight from heaven....right on to you..
I despise those who stand aside under cover and do not enjoy the first rain......
what a relief :) THe monsoooooooooons are finally here!!!
(gotta get back to work.....and may be a nice cup of garam chai and perhaps some bhajias )
Monday, June 2, 2008
issues issues issues
Today's day...was like a normal monday.
Started off where i left it at the weekend. I had a few pending tasks to finish...some dirty jobs to do.
Yeah yeah... I am in HR...lot of things that I need to do are considered dirty by most of the those who are'nt on this side of the table.
Appraisals(yeah those tiny lil wage increements you folks get after slogging for loooooooong time) salaries(yeah...some of those peanuts that you get at the end of the month!!)
Issuess....(yeah those save-our-life-things for you...and what-the-f***-things for us!!)
I got particularly perked up by this some-wizzard-of-morons-from-nowhere....on an issue being discussed on one of the HR forums I am a member of. Some weirdos...I wonder who ever made them Human resources professionals!But it was nice kinda putting up a fight for a fellow human being.(and it feels nice when people support you!)..none the less..with my posts on the forum I m sure i have triggered a thing that's no less than a cultural controversy...But Hell!!Its a free country with freedom of thought and speech.
Whiles these so called controversial issues kept me occupied through the evening...i actually lost track of time trying to fix some lose ends...:)
By the time i left office it was late....but I kinda had some time so decided to hit my fav cave "Toons the cafe down under"...I initially decided NO BEER today...but hell the place it is...the music gets the pulse outta you.
.....had to leave in less than an hours time after gulping about 2 mugs..a few of my fav tracks. Then Home sweet home.....dad was sleepin, so i kinda got saved of being fired for having lost my bike keys two days ago...incidently everyone at home had had dinner...I was left alone to eat ....:' ( how much I hate it!!!!
Started off where i left it at the weekend. I had a few pending tasks to finish...some dirty jobs to do.
Yeah yeah... I am in HR...lot of things that I need to do are considered dirty by most of the those who are'nt on this side of the table.
Appraisals(yeah those tiny lil wage increements you folks get after slogging for loooooooong time) salaries(yeah...some of those peanuts that you get at the end of the month!!)
Issuess....(yeah those save-our-life-things for you...and what-the-f***-things for us!!)
I got particularly perked up by this some-wizzard-of-morons-from-nowhere....on an issue being discussed on one of the HR forums I am a member of. Some weirdos...I wonder who ever made them Human resources professionals!But it was nice kinda putting up a fight for a fellow human being.(and it feels nice when people support you!)..none the less..with my posts on the forum I m sure i have triggered a thing that's no less than a cultural controversy...But Hell!!Its a free country with freedom of thought and speech.
Whiles these so called controversial issues kept me occupied through the evening...i actually lost track of time trying to fix some lose ends...:)
By the time i left office it was late....but I kinda had some time so decided to hit my fav cave "Toons the cafe down under"...I initially decided NO BEER today...but hell the place it is...the music gets the pulse outta you.
.....had to leave in less than an hours time after gulping about 2 mugs..a few of my fav tracks. Then Home sweet home.....dad was sleepin, so i kinda got saved of being fired for having lost my bike keys two days ago...incidently everyone at home had had dinner...I was left alone to eat ....:' ( how much I hate it!!!!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
IPL ..final show down
While I sit here trying to catch some breath after today's loooooooooong day...
IPL final match is being played at Mumbai.
I am not watching TV, but am getting updates on the match between the Rajasthan Royals lead by Shane Warne and Chennai Super Kings lead by our very own MS Dhoni.
.....The match seems to have given enough people enough topple-from-the-edge-of-the-seat moments, while some others must've bitten off the nails to the bone :)
With each tense moment, the ball keeps rolling ..from here to there.....indicating nothing clear of which team will win...and then the final moment....Rajasthan Royals win!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (of those who were supporting the Chennai super Kings....my sympathies!)
Some fire works around..some people cheering...!!!
Actually..I sympathize more with the players from SRK's,Priti's and Mallaya's team.... !
Nonetheless, the series were entertaining atleast for those who really admire the cricket. It was for me :)
(yawn) (yawn)...time to sleep.Hope I'll have something better to do tommorow :)
IPL final match is being played at Mumbai.
I am not watching TV, but am getting updates on the match between the Rajasthan Royals lead by Shane Warne and Chennai Super Kings lead by our very own MS Dhoni.
.....The match seems to have given enough people enough topple-from-the-edge-of-the-seat moments, while some others must've bitten off the nails to the bone :)
With each tense moment, the ball keeps rolling ..from here to there.....indicating nothing clear of which team will win...and then the final moment....Rajasthan Royals win!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (of those who were supporting the Chennai super Kings....my sympathies!)
Some fire works around..some people cheering...!!!
Actually..I sympathize more with the players from SRK's,Priti's and Mallaya's team.... !
Nonetheless, the series were entertaining atleast for those who really admire the cricket. It was for me :)
(yawn) (yawn)...time to sleep.Hope I'll have something better to do tommorow :)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Cry..its a weekend!!!
....ok this is just another hippity hop..out of the toungue..no sense matter. I have no one to talk to at this hour and am feeling a huge pang of pain...well emotionaly. Drained...
When I look at myself today, who I see is not me...is a stranger that I created.
Just about two years back...i perhaps had everything I wanted. Love, family, friends and of all Freedom.
Strange how life changed rapidly...bitterness crept in leaving a venomous trail that just poisoned everything in my life.
It just seems that every decision that I ever made was just a futile one...everything wrong. I have created more bitterness in minds of people than the love I could create....of everything that I've ever lost i just feel that I have lost my freedom now....my freedom to be who I am...who ever wanted to be...all that I ever wanted to do....and I have lost my right to be respected. [ or may be I just dont derserve any! ]
I feel that I am being monitored every second...every intimate second..of every breath that i take, every word that I speak...every move that I make.....
Superficially i might look like a free deer...running in all green pastures....with no harm around....a closer view will say...the green pasture is just a enclosure in a sanctuary...with walls that seem to summon up from no where.....with possibilities of an attack equally possible.
I do not say that all that I've ever done in my life is right....i agree for having made mistakes....but "to err is human"....and if I have erred..why do I pay for it every minute...every second of my life ? why do I have to pay a price at the cost of my freedom.?!
Can't I just lead my life just the way I want to....when I just dont interfere with anyone else...can't I just get the same...if not atleast being treated as a fellow human ?
When I look at myself today, who I see is not me...is a stranger that I created.
Just about two years back...i perhaps had everything I wanted. Love, family, friends and of all Freedom.
Strange how life changed rapidly...bitterness crept in leaving a venomous trail that just poisoned everything in my life.
It just seems that every decision that I ever made was just a futile one...everything wrong. I have created more bitterness in minds of people than the love I could create....of everything that I've ever lost i just feel that I have lost my freedom now....my freedom to be who I am...who ever wanted to be...all that I ever wanted to do....and I have lost my right to be respected. [ or may be I just dont derserve any! ]
I feel that I am being monitored every second...every intimate second..of every breath that i take, every word that I speak...every move that I make.....
Superficially i might look like a free deer...running in all green pastures....with no harm around....a closer view will say...the green pasture is just a enclosure in a sanctuary...with walls that seem to summon up from no where.....with possibilities of an attack equally possible.
I do not say that all that I've ever done in my life is right....i agree for having made mistakes....but "to err is human"....and if I have erred..why do I pay for it every minute...every second of my life ? why do I have to pay a price at the cost of my freedom.?!
Can't I just lead my life just the way I want to....when I just dont interfere with anyone else...can't I just get the same...if not atleast being treated as a fellow human ?
just another day....
Had a mixed day today....
Had planned some recruitment initiatives today, did not go through very well.(or perhaps I had not really put in a lot of heart into it).
Boss dear had to leave back to US today...and a colleague travelling along with him. It was nice to see his entire family come by to see him off. Boss, left with some memories of this city, a small scale size model of autorickshaw and a few hindi & marathi terms that we taught him during his stay here with us :)
Went back to office, did some work...and lo! the clock was ticking 16:48 , the weather...sunny! NO BIKe....and left me wondering what to do.
Finally, i called up a friend, who's birthday I had conviniently forgotten in the last week :(, he was in office too...so decided to just drop by his office. He'd planned an evening party, so a lot of other friends were expected too. But they were to take some time...so headed off outside to a "tapari" with some of them who were there for a tiny tea.
So finally...everyone came by, finished some work and then we left for a small joint nearby.Ordered a couple of beers (and some munchies)..discussed who's where....what when hows...and then time to head back home.
I was so full that could not really eat all that mom had prepared for dinner....(Gosh! I am feeling so exhausted today...and I did not even drink more than a mug of beer!!!)
Sometimes I just wonder...a day comes in a day goes...the night draws in.... and think about achievement of the day? NOTHING.....and still I feel exhausted of physical..mental and emotional strength.
Had planned some recruitment initiatives today, did not go through very well.(or perhaps I had not really put in a lot of heart into it).
Boss dear had to leave back to US today...and a colleague travelling along with him. It was nice to see his entire family come by to see him off. Boss, left with some memories of this city, a small scale size model of autorickshaw and a few hindi & marathi terms that we taught him during his stay here with us :)
Went back to office, did some work...and lo! the clock was ticking 16:48 , the weather...sunny! NO BIKe....and left me wondering what to do.
Finally, i called up a friend, who's birthday I had conviniently forgotten in the last week :(, he was in office too...so decided to just drop by his office. He'd planned an evening party, so a lot of other friends were expected too. But they were to take some time...so headed off outside to a "tapari" with some of them who were there for a tiny tea.
So finally...everyone came by, finished some work and then we left for a small joint nearby.Ordered a couple of beers (and some munchies)..discussed who's where....what when hows...and then time to head back home.
I was so full that could not really eat all that mom had prepared for dinner....(Gosh! I am feeling so exhausted today...and I did not even drink more than a mug of beer!!!)
Sometimes I just wonder...a day comes in a day goes...the night draws in.... and think about achievement of the day? NOTHING.....and still I feel exhausted of physical..mental and emotional strength.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Fuel!!!!
Latest thing...fuel price hike has sparked a hyteria in the city. Some fuel stations are shut the others are unreasonably crowded (damn! and its been like this for last 3 days).
Worse..I had absolutely no fuel in my bike (courtesy me ofcoure....I got this habit of refilling fuel only when the fuel indicator on the fuel meter crosses the red mark) and well here I pay a price :)
NO BIKE !!! ... so I travel by these three wheeled tiny little monsters called auto rickshaws that make hay under such circumstances...
Same thing today, no fuel, no bike, take an autorickshaw! As if this is not less, the city traffic...it seems everyone leaves there home at the same time and has to reach somewhere earlier than others! Traffic jams ...exactly at the time when you are in a great hurry...what you do, tell the autorickshaw driver to take another route (mind you, a longer route that is, and you end up paying higher! )
Oh well did I mention the heaven's showering fire...?! yes the tempratures have been soaring in the city. Yeah yeah...know it sounds me cribbing of [hell! what do you expect....no fuel, traffic jam, auto fares, summer heat......phew!!!] Well if you are in this city....you'd just love it (you just have no other option...if you can't beat them..join'em!)
Worse..I had absolutely no fuel in my bike (courtesy me ofcoure....I got this habit of refilling fuel only when the fuel indicator on the fuel meter crosses the red mark) and well here I pay a price :)
NO BIKE !!! ... so I travel by these three wheeled tiny little monsters called auto rickshaws that make hay under such circumstances...
Same thing today, no fuel, no bike, take an autorickshaw! As if this is not less, the city traffic...it seems everyone leaves there home at the same time and has to reach somewhere earlier than others! Traffic jams ...exactly at the time when you are in a great hurry...what you do, tell the autorickshaw driver to take another route (mind you, a longer route that is, and you end up paying higher! )
Oh well did I mention the heaven's showering fire...?! yes the tempratures have been soaring in the city. Yeah yeah...know it sounds me cribbing of [hell! what do you expect....no fuel, traffic jam, auto fares, summer heat......phew!!!] Well if you are in this city....you'd just love it (you just have no other option...if you can't beat them..join'em!)
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